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Band 5

Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What are the causes of this? What measures can be international community take to make sure the supply of food is enough?

#demand #food #measures #community
Over the
last
 few decades, demand for
food
 has increased year after year, what problems does
this
causes
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cause
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? what can be done to deal with
this
 situation?
Firstly
, buying lots of
food
 from
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
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 or shops more than what each family exactly needs may be one cause for
this
issue
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other words,
while
 there are many poverty nations who do not have enough
food
 to eat, there are around 75 %
families
Change preposition
of families
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 who consume and cook more than their needs which is
due to
 throw it.
Secondly
, the
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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population jumped dramatically
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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last
 4 years. To clarify, the consumption of vegetables, fruits, and meat grows
up
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apply
show examples
automatically when the number of people rises. A prime example, in the COVID-19 period, it is noted that the number of new babies increased
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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due to
 the need for more
food
 than before. There are two effective solutions to the problem of demanding
for
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apply
show examples
food
 in a terrible way. One way to tackle
this
 is for people to advise them to buy only what they really need
,
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apply
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 and explain to them the problems which may happen
as a result
 of
this
issue
. The other one is for
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 to try to get other ways of providing foods
such
 as plant vegetables and fruits in a very wide era. In conclusion, advising people and trying to provide other ways to get
food
 is effective in dealing with
this
issue
. If individuals apply these solutions, obesity will no longer be demanding
food
 an
issue
.
Submitted by hasnaalbrashdi on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow of your essay by organizing ideas more clearly and ensuring that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one. You might consider using clear linking words and phrases to achieve this.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and data to strengthen your arguments. This helps not only in supporting your claims but also in illustrating your points more vividly.
structure
The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, a body, and a conclusion. This helps in guiding the reader through your arguments efficiently.
task completion
You have addressed the task by discussing both the causes and the potential measures regarding the issue of increased food demand. This shows a comprehensive understanding of the task requirements.
examples
Efforts have been made to provide examples, such as referencing the increase in population during COVID-19, which helps to contextualize the discussion.

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