Some people believe that it is essential to include Physical Education classes in the curriculum children, others think that for all school age children's time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion,
Academic subjects
is
an important part Correct subject-verb agreement
are
for
Change preposition
of
student
learn knowledge and logical thinking, but physical Fix the agreement mistake
students
education
also
pay
an essential role Verb problem
plays
for
Change preposition
in
teenerger
Correct your spelling
teenager
teenagers
build
up a healthy Wrong verb form
building
lifetly
for Correct your spelling
life
future
. In my opinion, I disagree with the Correct article usage
the future
assert
.
Replace the word
assertion
Admittetly
, Correct your spelling
Admittedly
school age
children should Add a hyphen
school-age
spent
more Change the verb form
spend
time
on academic
Add an article
an academic
subject
, since it may affect the chance Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
to get
into Change preposition
of getting
Correct article usage
a sennior
sennior
degree, which may Correct your spelling
senior
critical
for the Add a missing verb
be critical
carear
pathway. Correct your spelling
career
Students
should pay
more effort Verb problem
put
for
the Change preposition
into
acedemic
Correct your spelling
academic
subject
, for example
, prolong
the study Wrong verb form
by prolonging
time
of
certain Change preposition
for
subject
, Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
thus
they can get higher score
in their academic performance and increase the competition value. Fix the agreement mistake
scores
Hence
, many universities select their students
only depend
on academic results. So it is reasonable that Wrong verb form
depending
students
spent
most of Wrong verb form
spend
time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
for
learning Change preposition
apply
main
Change the article
the main
subject
at school.
Furtheremore
, physical development for Correct your spelling
Furthermore
students
should not be ignore
, since Change the verb form
be ignored
student
should have multiple Fix the agreement mistake
students
development
at school. Physical Change to a plural noun
developments
education
give
chances for Change the verb form
gives
students
to try different kinds of sport
and acquire more healthy knowledge. On Fix the agreement mistake
sports
one
hand, physical Correct article usage
the one
education
boost
Change the verb form
boosts
the
Correct article usage
apply
poteintial
Correct your spelling
potential
students
to further
stimulate thier
Correct your spelling
their
sport
skills and it is creating Fix the agreement mistake
sports
sport
starts at the same Fix the agreement mistake
sports
time
. On the other hand
, physical education
are
Change the verb form
is
giving
Wrong verb form
given
the
public health Correct article usage
apply
education
, which provide
healthy information for Change the verb form
provides
students
and leading
them to build up regular Wrong verb form
leads
exercice
and Correct your spelling
exercise
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
life-style
. It Correct your spelling
lifestyle
also
a foundation for Add a missing verb
is also
reduce
the workload of hospitals and Change the form of the verb
reducing
prolong
the life spent Wrong verb form
prolonging
of
citizens from a long-term perception.
In Change preposition
by
conlusion
, Correct your spelling
conclusion
although
students
should spent
more Change the verb form
spend
time
on academic studies, it still can not intead
of Correct your spelling
instead
the
physical Correct article usage
apply
education
.Submitted by huangjiali617 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
language use
Work on using clear and accurate vocabulary to express your ideas. This will improve both your task response and coherence.
task response
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments, particularly when discussing the benefits of physical education.
essay structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame the discussion effectively.
balanced argument
The argument is balanced by discussing both views with relevant points.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example