IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some people think that parents should be punished if their children commit crimes because they are responsible for their children's actions To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #parents #children #crimes #actions
The diagrams illustrate information concerning the process of life
Change preposition
in ladybug
show examples
ladybug
Fix the agreement mistake
ladybugs
show examples
 and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 anatomy. From
overall
Add an article
an overall
show examples
 perspective, it is clearly evident that its life cycle
comprise
Change the verb form
comprises
show examples
 four steps which are egg ,
larvar
Correct your spelling
larva
larvae
larval
, pupa and adult
stage
Fix the agreement mistake
stages
show examples
.
In contrast
,
lady bird
Correct your spelling
ladybird
show examples
 anatomy
consist
Change the verb form
consists
show examples
 of eight parts. On the one hand,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the process of its life
started
Wrong verb form
starts
show examples
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
egg
Correct article usage
the egg
show examples
 stages which take 2 to 5 days and
usually
Add a comma
usually,
show examples
 the
egges
Correct your spelling
eggs
edges
 are placed on the
leafs
Correct your spelling
leaves
show examples
.
Folloing
Correct your spelling
Following
this
, they stay at
larval
Add an article
the larval
a larval
show examples
stage
 for 21 days and
then
soend
Correct your spelling
spend
 about 7 days
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
pupa
Correct article usage
the pupa
show examples
stage
, before turning to the adult Ladybug in
ultimate
Add an article
the ultimate
show examples
stage
.
On the other hand
, regarding its
antomy
Correct your spelling
anatomy
 diagram, there are 8 main
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 for it which are
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
haed
Correct your spelling
head
hard
 with 2 antennas
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
2 eyes and pronotum.
Furtheremore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, its body
consist
Correct subject-verb agreement
consists
show examples
 of 4
fandamental
Correct your spelling
fundamental
area
Change to a plural noun
areas
show examples
 which are its abdomen
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
covered by 2 wings and red elytra,
also
 its legs are attached to the main part of its body.
Submitted by rezaei.rezvan94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow of your sentences and paragraphs to improve coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Spend some time expanding on each stage of the ladybug's life cycle with more detailed descriptions and explanations.
task achievement
Work on using more relevant examples to illustrate your points, especially in the discussion of the ladybug's anatomy.
task achievement
The essay correctly identifies the four stages of the life cycle of a ladybug.
task achievement
You have correctly identified the eight main parts of the ladybug's anatomy.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is concise and provides a clear overview of what the essay will discuss.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Parental responsibility
  • Upbringing
  • Influence
  • Accountability
  • Ethically justifiable
  • Legal ramifications
  • Systemic issues
  • Community programs
  • Personal choice
  • Peer influence
What to do next:
Look at other essays: