In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Possessing a
home
is thought to be more important than renting one in some nations.
This
thought can stem from a belief that spending money on buying a
home
is a reasonable investment
helping
Change preposition
in helping
show examples
individuals to build up a secure
future
. I consider
this
situation as a positive one because
this
opinion can motivate
people
to be hardworking. Purchasing a
home
is always on the top of the list for investing money as
people
's priority is to own a
house
rather than renting one. Since the price of the
home
usually keeps its value and even it will
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
through a period of time, buying a
home
can make
people
's
future
certain leading them to always have a reliable investment.
While
renting a
house
may force residents
lose
Add the particle
to lose
show examples
their money as they have to pay an annual rent but still have no permanent place to live.
Thus
, owning a
house
can somehow guarantee
people
's
future
as they can sell their
house
whenever they require their budget. Thinking of owning a
house
as an important
criteria
Correct the article-noun agreement
criterion
show examples
can make individuals keep working hard to accomplish
this
ambition. Replacing a rented accommodation with your own
house
requires a lot of motivation which can help
people
to improve. Taking on
this
responsibility might bring
a
Change the article
an
show examples
undeniable consequence like building up
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good confidence
as a result
of making
people
's lives stable.
In other words
, they do not need to worry about their next temporary houses or their
future
budgets.
Therefore
,
this
situation will help all the
people
to live in calmness without any stress about accommodation. In conclusion,
regarding
Change preposition
apply
show examples
having a
house
can provide
people
with an opportunity to invest in a secure and available way making their futures safe. Contributing individuals to stay motivated and work even harder, so that it can be thought
as
Change preposition
of as
show examples
a positive idea and circumstance.
Submitted by ghorabibita on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly, and ideas flow logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and provide clearer pictures for the reader.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly outlines the main argument and the essay provides a positive view of the situation.
introduction conclusion present
The essay concludes with a strong, summarizing statement that reinforces the central argument.
complete response
The essay addresses the question effectively, discussing both the reasons and implications of the given situation.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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