Some people become famous when they are at young age. Do you think this is positive or nagative?
In
this
contemporary Linking Words
era
many Add a comma
era,
people
are Use synonyms
the
becoming famous At the Correct article usage
apply
age
of juvenile some Use synonyms
persons's
become popular.I opine that Change noun form
people
this
is Linking Words
Correct article usage
a totaly
totaly
Correct your spelling
totally
Use synonyms
nagative
development so in the upcoming segments. Correct your spelling
negative
i
am going to shed all the Change the capitalization
I
lights
on itsFix the agreement mistake
light
Correct your spelling
negative development
nagative
devlopment.
To embark with first Use synonyms
Use synonyms
nagative
point is if they become Correct your spelling
negative
Popular
, they can't Fix capitalization
popular
foous
on their Correct your spelling
focus
study
. I think if a Use synonyms
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
person
Use synonyms
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
fomus
Correct your spelling
famous
focus
in
young Change preposition
at
age
, many Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
would
Wrong verb form
will
follw
him/her Correct your spelling
follow
while
he/she going Linking Words
school
or classes so that they can't focus on their Fix the infinitive
to school
Use synonyms
study
because Fix the agreement mistake
studies
people
Use synonyms
disturbirg
them Correct your spelling
disturbing
also
when they are doing Linking Words
self
Add a hyphen
self-study
study
Use synonyms
people
are calling them or come at their house so it is hard to concentrate on Use synonyms
study
, Use synonyms
Moreover
If one Linking Words
person
Popular, he/she will have Use synonyms
many
Replace the quantifier
much
work
regarding their Change to a plural noun
works
fied
so it is hard to give time on Correct your spelling
field
study
o part from Use synonyms
this
tomous Linking Words
people
are earning Use synonyms
money
by doing advertisement so that they think they are now earning Use synonyms
money
so Use synonyms
Use synonyms
study
is not Add an article
the study
importent
for him/her by considering that factors I think it is Correct your spelling
important
nagetive
point because Correct your spelling
negative
Use synonyms
study
is more important for developing knowledge and Add an article
the study
a study
Progration
.
Now considering Correct your spelling
Progression
second
Correct article usage
the second
Use synonyms
nagative
point is, they will Correct your spelling
negative
be become
cocksure, If they become Change to the active voice
become
have become
Populer
, they will earn Correct your spelling
Popular
money
.If they earn Use synonyms
money
, they Use synonyms
are thinking
they do not want any Wrong verb form
think
Person
bесаuse of Use synonyms
money
Use synonyms
.at
Correct your spelling
At
this
Linking Words
age
they do not think about anyone Use synonyms
also
they not developed
Linking Words
maintaly
for thinking about Correct your spelling
mainly
maintain
other
. Fix the agreement mistake
others
Some time
they Correct your spelling
Sometimes
are thinking
about only them self if any Wrong verb form
think
person
Use synonyms
traying
to teach them about ethics and morals they are not Correct your spelling
trying
listening
them because they think they are superior and well known because they have Add the preposition
listening to
money
. So it is not good for them self at Use synonyms
young
Add an article
a young
age
.
To agglomerate , I think Use synonyms
this
is Linking Words
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a nagative
nagative
development because it is not only effet Correct your spelling
negative
on
young Change preposition
for
People
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
study
but Fix the infinitive
to study
also
it Linking Words
make's
them arrogant.Correct your spelling
makes
Submitted by aryannai0002 on
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task achievement
Work on providing clearer and more structured argumentation. Start with a strong thesis statement and ensure each paragraph supports it logically.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure to improve coherence and prevent misunderstandings. Linking words can help with paragraph cohesion.
task achievement
The essay shows a good effort in discussing potential negative impacts of becoming famous at a young age.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.