IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The data displays the trends in
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
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 of
houseworks
Correct your spelling
housework
 by washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
,
Use synonyms
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
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, and
vacuum
Use synonyms
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
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in a certain nation and the number of hours
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
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households from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, there were increases using three electrical appliances during the entire period.
Use synonyms
Refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
Refrigerators
show examples
 showed a significant uprising among them, and there was a decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the number of hours
doing
Verb problem
spent
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 washing clothes, preparing meals, and cleaning. In
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 line chart, washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
,
Use synonyms
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
,
Use synonyms
vacuum
Correct word choice
and vacuum
show examples
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
 started with 40%, 30%,
0
Correct word choice
and 0
show examples
% in 1920, respectively. In
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 40 years, the consumption of
Use synonyms
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 rocketed to 90% in 1960
while
Linking Words
 the others showed a
gradually
Change the adverb
gradual
show examples
 increase. The percentage of
Use synonyms
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 was
consistantly
Correct your spelling
consistently
 the highest from 1960, with 90%,
however
Linking Words
, that of
vacuum
Use synonyms
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
 catched it with 100% in 2000. Both
Use synonyms
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 and
vacuum
Use synonyms
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the highest after 2000. In the second graph, there was a downward trend. In 1920, the number of hours for washing clothes, preparing meals, and cleaning was 50.
However
Linking Words
, it decreased dramatically from 50 to 20, in 1920 and 1960, respectively. After 1960, it showed a
gradually
Change the adverb
gradual
show examples
 decrease during the entire period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words refrigerator, vacuum with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household appliances
  • time-efficient
  • labour-saving devices
  • technological innovations
  • ownership rate
  • housework chores
  • domestic workload
  • automation
  • advancements
  • trend analysis
  • societal shifts
  • economic impact
  • durability
  • lifespan of appliances
  • maintenance
  • historical comparison
  • time allocation
  • drudgery reduction
  • energy consumption
  • disruption in trends
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