The graph shows the number of visitors to various art galleries in 2011.

The graph shows the number of visitors to various art galleries in 2011.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The graph shows the number of visitors to various art galleries in 2011.
The bar graph illustrates the figure of
visitors
Use synonyms
visiting the
art
Use synonyms
galleries in different countries in the year 2011 encompassing Louvite(France), Metropolitan
Museum
Use synonyms
(USA), British
Museum
Use synonyms
(UK), National
Museum
Use synonyms
of Korea, Museo del Prado(Spain), and State Hermitage(
Russia
Use synonyms
). Units are measured in millions.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
Louvite
Correct your spelling
Louvre
art
Use synonyms
gallery in France surpassed other galleries in the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
Russia
Use synonyms
accounts for the least in the given period. Significantly, Korea, Spain and
Russia
Use synonyms
had comparatively fewer amount of
visitors
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
the graph, in 2011, the French
art
Use synonyms
gallery had almost 9
million
Use synonyms
clients.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
Metropolitan
Correct article usage
the Metropolitan
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
in America had 6
million
Use synonyms
patrons and the British
Museum
Use synonyms
had slightly less than 6
million
Use synonyms
viewers.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Lovuite was one of the most famous
art
Use synonyms
galleries compared to other
art
Use synonyms
museums.
However
Linking Words
, the Korean and the Spain
art
Use synonyms
museums had 3
million
Use synonyms
enthusiasts in 2011.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the State Hermitage in
Russia
Use synonyms
had 2.8
million
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, art, museum, russia, million with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: