IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What are the causes of this? What measures can be international community take to make sure the supply of food is enough?

#demand #food #measures #community
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The global demand for
food
 is escalating, driven by multifaceted factors.
This
 essay explores the underlying causes and proposes solutions. The primary drivers are population growth,
food
 waste, and changing dietary preferences. Urbanization and increased employment have led to a rise in junk
food
 consumption.
Moreover
, technology and 24/7 connectivity have fueled the desire for diverse cuisine. The COVID-19 pandemic highlighted the consequences of
food
 scarcity. To mitigate
this
 issue: 1. Educate people about healthy eating habits. 2. Implement equitable
food
 distribution. 3. Conduct awareness programs. 4. Address
food
 waste and illegal marketing. In conclusion, population growth and junk
food
 consumption are key causes. Governments and policymakers must develop effective strategies.
Submitted by drnivyamohan1992 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more specific examples to substantiate your points, especially when discussing solutions to ensure food supply.
task achievement
Expand on the key causes to make the ideas more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a seamless flow of ideas to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Add transition sentences to improve cohesion between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, giving the reader a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The key causes of increasing food demand are identified accurately.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: