IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

School curriculum has become more flexible in many countr ies. Some people argue that students should be given a right to choose what they study in school. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer.

#school #curriculum #countr #ies #people #students #right #study
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There is no doubt that a robust education system is required to improve a nation's future generation. Some people believe that allowing pupils to manage their learning program is necessary,
while
 others argue that
students
 must follow a fixed curriculum. I strongly support the former view. Having a flexible learning program enables
students
 to allocate
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 amount of time
intesively
Correct your spelling
intensively
 to their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 subjects.
For instance
, if a student excels in science-based
subject
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subjects
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such
 as chemistry and biology, they will be able to spend their time to delve into it
further
.
This
 initiative is very beneficial, especially for high school
students
, because it enables them to make informed decisions about their tertiary education. On the one hand,
this
 learning model can reduce the figure of
students
 experiencing unfit
major
Fix the agreement mistake
majors
show examples
.
For example
, there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
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research conducted by
Indonesian
Correct article usage
the Indonesian
show examples
 Ministry of Education
unfolds
Verb problem
reveals
show examples
 the truth that roughly 90% of Indonesian college
students
 are facing difficulties in pursuing their bachelor's degree.
Furthermore
, 80% of them are working in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fields that are different
with
Change preposition
from
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 their discipline. Henceforth, the flexible learning model allows pupils to explore a variety of disciplines, and
then
 decide which subjects are suitable for them.
To sum up
, both views
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are concern
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concern
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concerned
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 about whether they can deliver satisfied professional lives by allowing
students
 to explore their talents. I strongly encourage the idea of implementing
flexible
Correct article usage
a flexible
show examples
 curriculum in schools.
Submitted by manapapuja2 on

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task achievement
Ensure all arguments are well-developed and backed with appropriate examples for a stronger task response.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied transitions and linking words to enhance coherence between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of words and try to paraphrase ideas for better variety in language use.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear stance on the issue and supports it with relevant reasons.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion which enhances its structure.
task achievement
Main points are generally supported by examples, which creates a reasonable argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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