Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some
people
think that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it is better to
adopt
Correct your spelling
adapt
show examples
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
climate
changes
in our lives rather than
investing
Wrong verb form
invest
show examples
a lot
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
protective measures to avoid their harmful
effects
.
This
essay disagrees with that opinion and
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
that crucial steps must be taken against harmful environmental
changes
to save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human beings all around the
world
. First of all, extreme
climate
changes
have serious devastating
effects
on our lives.
For example
, In 2012 around 2 million
people
lost their lives
due to
heavy
flood
Fix the agreement mistake
floods
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Pakistan. Millions of
people
were shifted to refugee camps and most of them never returned to their homes, because they lost
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
show examples
in the flood.
According to
experts, these floods are
Correct article usage
the results
show examples
results
Fix the agreement mistake
result
show examples
of bad
climate
changes
in the
world
which are avoidable.
Similarly
, extreme
weather
changes
are
result
Add an article
the result
a result
show examples
of
deleterious
Correct article usage
the deleterious
show examples
effects
of harsh
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
.
For instance
,
due to
toxic
gases
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gas
show examples
emissions from heavy industries and transports, the
Ozon
Correct your spelling
Ozone
show examples
layer is under constant threat which
result
Change the verb form
results
show examples
in serious
weather
changes
in several regions of the
world
.
On the other hand
, It is very expensive to live in an extreme environment than taking necessary measures to decrease its negative
effects
.
For example
,
people
use air conditioners in hot
weather
and electric heaters in the
winters
Fix the agreement mistake
winter
show examples
.
According to
surveys, some
people
around the
world
are not able
afford
Add the particle
to afford
show examples
these expenses.
Therefore
, it is the responsibility of a government to bring important reforms to overcome the challenges against extreme environmental issues rather than leaving these
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
for
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
to resolve. In conclusion, floods and extreme
weather
are two major consequences of deteriorating
climate
changes
in the
world
,
therefore
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
relavant
Correct your spelling
relevant
organizations should work on these problems on
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
emergency basis to save the public
tagainst
Correct your spelling
against
their negative
effects
.
Submitted by dr.tehreemk on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports the central argument of the essay. The paragraphs currently present relevant information, but may benefit from more targeted alignment with the thesis.
task achievement
While the examples provided are relevant, try to include more varied examples or statistics to strengthen your argument further.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents an argument and takes a stance on the issue, showing clarity in task response.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is maintained throughout, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as the floods in Pakistan, are used effectively to illustrate points, providing evidence to back the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • climate change
  • prevent
  • adaptation
  • mitigation
  • cope with
  • effects
  • shift
  • mindset
  • lifestyle
  • balance
  • invest
  • research
  • technology
  • crucial
  • education
  • awareness
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