IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #climate #change
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Some
people
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 think that
,
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apply
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 it is better to
adopt
Correct your spelling
adapt
show examples
the
Change preposition
to the
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climate
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changes
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 in our lives rather than
investing
Wrong verb form
invest
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 a lot
on
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in
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 protective measures to avoid their harmful
effects
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay disagrees with that opinion and
believe
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believes
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 that crucial steps must be taken against harmful environmental
changes
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 to save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human beings all around the
world
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. First of all, extreme
climate
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changes
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 have serious devastating
effects
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 on our lives.
For example
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, In 2012 around 2 million
people
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 lost their lives
due to
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 heavy
flood
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floods
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Pakistan. Millions of
people
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 were shifted to refugee camps and most of them never returned to their homes, because they lost
every thing
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everything
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 in the flood.
According to
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 experts, these floods are
Correct article usage
the results
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results
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result
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 of bad
climate
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changes
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 in the
world
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 which are avoidable.
Similarly
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, extreme
weather
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changes
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 are
result
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the result
a result
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 of
deleterious
Correct article usage
the deleterious
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effects
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 of harsh
environment
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environments
show examples
.
For instance
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,
due to
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 toxic
gases
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gas
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 emissions from heavy industries and transports, the
Ozon
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Ozone
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 layer is under constant threat which
result
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results
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 in serious
weather
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changes
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 in several regions of the
world
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.
On the other hand
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, It is very expensive to live in an extreme environment than taking necessary measures to decrease its negative
effects
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.
For example
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,
people
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 use air conditioners in hot
weather
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 and electric heaters in the
winters
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winter
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.
According to
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 surveys, some
people
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 around the
world
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 are not able
afford
Add the particle
to afford
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 these expenses.
Therefore
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, it is the responsibility of a government to bring important reforms to overcome the challenges against extreme environmental issues rather than leaving these
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
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 for
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 to resolve. In conclusion, floods and extreme
weather
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 are two major consequences of deteriorating
climate
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changes
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 in the
world
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,
therefore
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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relavant
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relevant
 organizations should work on these problems on
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 emergency basis to save the public
tagainst
Correct your spelling
against
 their negative
effects
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.
Submitted by dr.tehreemk on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports the central argument of the essay. The paragraphs currently present relevant information, but may benefit from more targeted alignment with the thesis.
task achievement
While the examples provided are relevant, try to include more varied examples or statistics to strengthen your argument further.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents an argument and takes a stance on the issue, showing clarity in task response.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is maintained throughout, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as the floods in Pakistan, are used effectively to illustrate points, providing evidence to back the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • climate change
  • prevent
  • adaptation
  • mitigation
  • cope with
  • effects
  • shift
  • mindset
  • lifestyle
  • balance
  • invest
  • research
  • technology
  • crucial
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: