Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree
Some
people
think that,
it is better to Remove the comma
apply
adopt
Correct your spelling
adapt
the
Change preposition
to the
climate
changes
in our lives rather than investing
a lot Wrong verb form
invest
on
protective measures to avoid their harmful Change preposition
in
effects
.
This
essay disagrees with that opinion and believe
that crucial steps must be taken against harmful environmental Change the verb form
believes
changes
to save the
human beings all around the Correct article usage
apply
world
.
First of all, extreme climate
changes
have serious devastating effects
on our lives. For example
, In 2012 around 2 million people
lost their lives due to
heavy flood
in Fix the agreement mistake
floods
the
Pakistan. Millions of Correct article usage
apply
people
were shifted to refugee camps and most of them never returned to their homes, because they lost every thing
in the flood. Correct your spelling
everything
According to
experts, these floods are Correct article usage
the results
results
of bad Fix the agreement mistake
result
climate
changes
in the world
which are avoidable. Similarly
, extreme weather
changes
are result
of Add an article
the result
a result
deleterious
Correct article usage
the deleterious
effects
of harsh environment
. Fix the agreement mistake
environments
For instance
, due to
toxic gases
emissions from heavy industries and transports, the Change the noun form
gas
Ozon
layer is under constant threat which Correct your spelling
Ozone
result
in serious Change the verb form
results
weather
changes
in several regions of the world
.
On the other hand
, It is very expensive to live in an extreme environment than taking necessary measures to decrease its negative effects
. For example
, people
use air conditioners in hot weather
and electric heaters in the winters
. Fix the agreement mistake
winter
According to
surveys, some people
around the world
are not able afford
these expenses. Add the particle
to afford
Therefore
, it is the responsibility of a government to bring important reforms to overcome the challenges against extreme environmental issues rather than leaving these issue
for Fix the agreement mistake
issues
public
to resolve.
In conclusion, floods and extreme Add an article
the public
weather
are two major consequences of deteriorating climate
changes
in the world
, therefore
the
Correct article usage
apply
relavant
organizations should work on these problems on Correct your spelling
relevant
the
emergency basis to save the public Correct article usage
an
tagainst
their negative Correct your spelling
against
effects
.Submitted by dr.tehreemk on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports the central argument of the essay. The paragraphs currently present relevant information, but may benefit from more targeted alignment with the thesis.
task achievement
While the examples provided are relevant, try to include more varied examples or statistics to strengthen your argument further.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents an argument and takes a stance on the issue, showing clarity in task response.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is maintained throughout, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as the floods in Pakistan, are used effectively to illustrate points, providing evidence to back the argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example