Some people think that it’s important to spend money on family celebrations (e.g. weddings, birthdays). However, some think that expensive celebration are a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Celebration is
a
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an
show examples
important part
in
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of
show examples
our lives , it is a way to show love and spread
happenise
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happiness
happens
on
diffirant
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different
ocuasion
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occasion
. For
induividuals
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individuals
who think spending
mouny
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money
on
celebration
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celebrations
show examples
such
as weddings and
birthdays
, they
usslly
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usually
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
a lot of
mony
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money
for two reasons one
beacuse
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because
of their tradition
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, for example,
show examples
for example
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
arab
weeding
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wedding
show examples
is
kown
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known
to be magnificence with big
spaice
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space
and
high
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a high
the high
show examples
number of
table
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tables
show examples
for
gustes
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guests
gusts
and a lot of food to
accomedadt
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accordant
the number of
gusts
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guests
show examples
and their
familys
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families
.
Constast
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Contact
Contrast
with
birthdays
party or
birthdays
secound
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second
reasone
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reason
reasons
also
in arab culture and tradition if someone
give
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gives
show examples
you
expensive
Add an article
an expensive
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wedding present or big
bithday
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birthday
party you should
reaturn
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return
the
favore
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favour
if
thiers
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theirs
occusions
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occasions
come up .
On the other
hand
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hand,
show examples
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
who think
ecelebration
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celebration
is a waste of money
they
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apply
show examples
are not
entarlly
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entirely
centrally
wrong ,
i
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I
show examples
think
thier resaons
Correct your spelling
their reasons
they have other
imported
Replace the word
important
show examples
stuff to do or they come from a family who
didnt
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didn't
apprechite
Correct your spelling
appreciate
weeddings
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weddings
and
birthdays
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birthday
show examples
clebration
Correct your spelling
celebration
.
Overall
in my opinion
i
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I
show examples
come from arab culture and tradition so
i
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I
show examples
beleve
Correct your spelling
believe
in the
sying
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saying
show examples
if you give
somthing
Correct your spelling
something
you will earn
somthing
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something
in return ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
give and spend money on
present
Fix the agreement mistake
presents
show examples
and weedding for my family and the people
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
love and admair , but at the same time i try to be financially frugal.
Submitted by roof.al1418 on

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advice
The essay would benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader.
advice
Ensure each paragraph clearly addresses one point of view before transitioning to the other, to enhance coherence.
advice
Improve sentence structure and grammar to convey ideas more clearly.
advice
Consider a more structured conclusion that effectively summarizes your opinion and main points.
advice
Use transitional words and phrases more frequently to link ideas together smoothly.
positive
The essay addresses both perspectives on the topic, fulfilling the task requirements.
positive
Relevant cultural examples, such as the mention of Arab wedding traditions, add depth to the essay.
positive
The writer's personal opinion is clearly stated, which helps convey engagement with the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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