These days people spend more and more time at work and less time at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
Nowadays, people are spending more
time
working than at home
. While
this
trend can be beneficial,
since it means faster professional Remove the comma
apply
growths
and economic advantages, it Fix the agreement mistake
growth
also
has drawbacks such
as stress and lack of time
for private problems
.
Firstly
, the main advantage of this
development is that it aids the individuals' career
. Employees grow quicker Fix the agreement mistake
careers
professionaly
if they spend more Correct your spelling
professionally
professional
time
at work
, as they have more time
to learn and practise concepts about their job. Moreover
, most of the job contracts pay the employee hourly; therefore
, by spending more time
working, the employer has to pay more for its workers
. For example
, in Europe, 8 hours of work
per day is the standard; anyone that
spends more Correct pronoun usage
who
time
than that,
will get paid an extra. Remove the comma
apply
This
demonstrates that individuals get richer by spending more hours at work
.
Nevertheless
, spending less time
at home
also
leads to serious downsides. Stress is an important concept for the well-being of an individual. If workers
are spending more at their own companies, they get stressed very quickly, leading to health complications. In addition
, when workers
return home
, they are tired; thus
, any personal problems
that need their attention are left unresolved, leading to unforeseen consequences. For instance
, married workers
often have problems
with their own marriage; when they return home
late from work
, they are left too tired to tackle these issues. This
shows that workers
are too tired to resolve any personal problems
if they spend too many hours at work
.
In summary, altough
spending more Correct your spelling
although
time
at work
can be beneficial both financially and professionally, the drawbacks are something to be worried about, as the
personal stress and Correct article usage
apply
problems
are equally important.Submitted by kevinwang9000 on
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task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are clearly expanded upon. For instance, while you mention professional growth as a benefit of working more, expand by also explaining how it contributes to personal development or networking opportunities.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by using linking words. While synching ideas, appropriate transitional devices such as 'moreover', 'however', or 'therefore' can strengthen coherence.
task achievement
Make sure the introduction clearly outlines what your essay will discuss, setting the stage appropriately for the arguments you intend to present.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas around personal problems workers face due to long hours at work. General references could be bolstered with specific examples or statistics, if possible.
coherence cohesion
Your essay's introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your arguments.
task achievement
Good use of specific examples, like the European work culture, to highlight your points.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay, with distinct paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, supports the reader's understanding.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?