IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagrams below shows changes in modes of transport chosen by travellers in European country from 1950 to 1990. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below shows changes in modes of transport chosen by travellers in European country from 1950 to 1990. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart illustrates how the model of
transportation
Use synonyms
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
changed from 1950 to 1990 by tourists in European
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
at
Change the preposition
in
show examples
 the beginning,
travellers
Use synonyms
 in European
country were
Wrong verb form
countries
show examples
 mostly travelled
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
foots
Fix the agreement mistake
foot
show examples
, but in the
last
Linking Words
year
Add a comma
year,
show examples
 cars
became
Wrong verb form
have become
show examples
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 popular. In 1950, just around 40% of tourists
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
travelled
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
foots
Fix the agreement mistake
foot
show examples
 and bikes were their second priority around 27%. But in 1970,
travellers
Use synonyms
 mainly used
bus
Add an article
the bus
show examples
 as a
transportation
Use synonyms
 around 26% and 25% by cars.
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, after that in 1990, people highly used
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 as a travel partner
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 39%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
car
Add an article
the car
show examples
 was an unpopular
transportation
Use synonyms
 among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
travellers
Use synonyms
 in the first year, 5% of people travelled by
cars
Fix the agreement mistake
car
show examples
. In the
last
Linking Words
 year, those who travelled via
bikes
Fix the agreement mistake
bike
show examples
 were the lowest approximately 5% and
by
Correct pronoun usage
those by
show examples
foots
Fix the agreement mistake
foot
show examples
 were 6%.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, in 1970,
travellers
Use synonyms
chosen
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
 bikes and by foot as
transportation
Use synonyms
around
Change preposition
by around
show examples
 20% to 18% respectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words transportation, travellers with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • changes
  • modes of transport
  • travellers
  • European country
  • 1950
  • 1990
  • summarise
  • main features
  • comparisons
  • popularity
  • time periods
  • bicycle
  • walking
  • car
  • public transportation
  • motorcycle
  • increased significantly
  • preferred mode of transport
  • stability
  • slight increase
What to do next:
Look at other essays: