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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below shows local catches and imports of fresh fish into Perth, Australia for the years 2004 - 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows local catches and imports of fresh fish into Perth, Australia for the years 2004 - 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table provides data concerning the amount of
fish
Use synonyms
 getting caught and imported into Perth, Australia in a certain period of time.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of local
fish
Use synonyms
 is always more than the imports by a larger margin and the total
number
Use synonyms
 of
fish
Use synonyms
 increases until the
year
Use synonyms
 2008 which is a peak and after
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 it starts to dwindle slowly. From the table we can gather that in the
year
Use synonyms
 2004 there is a huge gap between the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of local catches and imports of fresh
fish
Use synonyms
 with the former being more than six times the
number
Use synonyms
 of the latter.
This
Linking Words
 is a recurring pattern as we can notice the
number
Use synonyms
 of local catches rising at a higher rate than the imports and
this
Linking Words
 trend persists up until the
year
Use synonyms
 2009. In the
year
Use synonyms
 2008, 8136 metrics of fresh
fish
Use synonyms
 were caught locally which dwarfs the mere 717
metic
Correct your spelling
metric
show examples
 tons of imported
fish
Use synonyms
in contrast
Linking Words
. In the
year
Use synonyms
 2009,
however
Linking Words
, there was a shift and it is the same
year
Use synonyms
 the local
fish
Use synonyms
 alongside the total
number
Use synonyms
 of
fish
Use synonyms
sees
Wrong verb form
saw
show examples
 a decrease.
This
Linking Words
 course remains true for all the remaining years and the amount of total
fish
Use synonyms
 starts to decline at a somewhat slow rate. In the
year
Use synonyms
 2014, the region of Perth got only 5814 tons of
fish
Use synonyms
. A
number
Use synonyms
 that
although
Linking Words
 is still more than it was in the
year
Use synonyms
 2004, has lessened significantly from its peak in 2008.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words fish, number, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 2 times.
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