IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience

#countries #university #students #home #study #city
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Many
people
Add a verb
people are
people were
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 curious about
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 and disadvantages
between
Change preposition
of
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two
Correct article usage
the two
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 conditions.
The one
Correct article usage
One
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 is students who live at home with their family during their
Use synonyms
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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in
Change preposition
at
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university
Use synonyms
 and the other is students who come to
other
Change the wording
another city
other cities
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city
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
study
Wrong verb form
studying
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in
Change preposition
at
show examples
university
Use synonyms
. I will
explaine
Correct your spelling
explain
 my opinion in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
Firstly
Linking Words
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 think that
Use synonyms
study
Wrong verb form
studying
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in
Change preposition
at
show examples
Use synonyms
university
Add an article
a university
show examples
 with
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 location
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 our hometown is one of
natural
Correct article usage
the natural
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benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 that not everyone has. In
this
Linking Words
 condition , a
student
Use synonyms
 can get at least 2 advantages that are
student
Use synonyms
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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 not worry about new adaptation
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
 that often happen in
university
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
student
Use synonyms
 still gets good engagement with their family.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 hand , Some
of
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apply
show examples
Grade A
Use synonyms
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
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 just located in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
big
Use synonyms
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
 and more competition to become a
student
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
favourite
Correct pronoun usage
their favourite
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 campus is a major challenge that every
students
Change to a singular noun
student
show examples
 must face. If a
student
Use synonyms
 naturally
become
Verb problem
comes
show examples
 from
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
city
Use synonyms
 that
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not have
good
Correct article usage
a good
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university
Use synonyms
 , the only way to
continues
Wrong verb form
continue
show examples
 his
study
Use synonyms
 is
challenge
Fix the infinitive
to challenge
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 his seff to
attempt
Add the particle
attempt to
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 apply
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
good campus in
other
Change the wording
another city
other cities
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city
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Nevertheless
Add a comma
Nevertheless,
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 he will leave
hometown
Correct pronoun usage
his hometown
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 and
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 away from home during
Use synonyms
study
Add an article
the study
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. But
this
Linking Words
 condition is not bad at all. If we stand
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Correct article usage
the positif
show examples
positif
Correct your spelling
positive
 side , living in
other
Change the wording
another city
other cities
show examples
city
Use synonyms
 will give us some good learning
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
experiences. We will get used to being independent and solve some problems by
our self
Correct your spelling
ourselves
show examples
. We can
also
Linking Words
 find some
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 jobs which it good
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
 for us to face
real
Add an article
the real
show examples
 world in the future. So , if we can
study
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
university
Add an article
a university
show examples
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 location
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 our hometown is the best condition that we can get , but living far away from home during
Use synonyms
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
also
Linking Words
 can give us some
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 if we can optimize it.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Incorporate specific examples or experiences to strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a logical structure throughout the entire essay to ensure ideas are well linked and easy to follow.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument effectively, showing a balanced perspective on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frames the main discussion points well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
What to do next:
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