Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Owning to an increasing number
individuals
Change preposition
of individuals
show examples
assume that government funding should
expense
Wrong verb form
be spent
show examples
on
railways
rather than roads.
Although
I agree with
this
statement, I believe that it would lead to certain challenges,
such
as
lower
Replace the word
lowering
show examples
the number of customers for taxi services. On the one hand, the major advantage of
spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
money on train systems is it will reduce air pollution. Private
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
have exhaust pipes that release smoke into the air and if there are a lot of them the toxins will accumulate in the atmosphere .
This
contribute
Change the verb form
contributes
show examples
to climate change
such
as global warming.
Furthermore
, it can alleviate traffic congestion. By
Increase
Replace the word
Increasing
show examples
railways
, pupils would turn to
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
them more than
automobile
Fix the agreement mistake
automobiles
show examples
.
This
would result in faster transportation and
also
reduce accident rates.
On the other hand
, the notable effect of investment more
railways
could be a reduction in demand for taxi services. As more people choose to use trains for their daily transportation, taxi
driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
show examples
may experience a decrease in customers, leading to lower income for those who rely on
this
business. Another impact is the inconvenience caused by neglected roads. If funding is primarily directed towards
railways
, the maintenance and improvement of road infrastructure may suffer.
For instance
, some individuals
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
need to travel to rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
may experience unsafe driving conditions.
To sum
up
Add a comma
up,
show examples
everything that has been started so far, it is considered that it can alleviate climate
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
and tackle
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
congestion, but there will be lower income in some jobs and some inconvenience.
This
actively demonstrates that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should
expense
Verb problem
spend
show examples
more money on
railways
but that does not mean they should not.
Submitted by esaraica on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Try to structure your paragraphs more clearly, each focusing on a single main idea. This will make your argument easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by specific examples or evidence to strengthen your points.
task achievement
Address more specific examples to further illustrate your points.
task achievement
Ensure your argument is more comprehensive, covering different aspects of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents an introduction and a conclusion, providing a good overview and summary of the argument.
task achievement
There is a clear attempt to balance the argument by acknowledging potential disadvantages of spending more on railways.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!