Technology is becoming increasingly prevalent in the world today. In the not too distant future, technology will completly replace the teacher in the classroom . Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays the most increasingly thing is
technology
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
about education system.
Technology
will change the place with human
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
in the foreseeable future. I do not think it will  happen so
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
am not with that opinion.
Firstly
technology
never be like a human
teacher
, because it has no idea about
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
feelings and problems
because
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
if students have any problem
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
anything they can not focus on their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
.
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
show examples
people
can not connect with any
technology
and
also
face-to-face interaction is another important thing between
teacher
and student.
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
people
can help and understand each other but
technology
never. On the one
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
every
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
  mistakes but
technology
is not a human so it is  perfect and never
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
mistake
Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
show examples
about anything.
Technology
is created by
people
, so it does not rank higher than the
people
.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
technology
has a wealth of
comfortly
Correct your spelling
comfort
sides
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
education
for example
it can teach the lesson more clearly than
human
Add an article
a human
show examples
teacher
.
To sum up
, it does not matter how much
grow
Verb problem
apply
show examples
 
technology
, it cannot
to takes
Verb problem
take
show examples
the place
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
humans.
Submitted by Writing9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more logically. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that there is a logical progression from one paragraph to the next. Using linking words or phrases can help with the flow of the essay.
Task Achievement
Provide more detailed examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
Task Achievement
Try to elaborate more on your ideas to make them clearer for the reader. This includes explaining why you think technology can or cannot replace teachers in certain ways.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and takes a clear position on the issue, which is critical to achieving task response.
Task Achievement
You have rightly identified some important aspects, like the importance of human interaction and emotional understanding, which are relevant to the topic at hand.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay contains an introduction and a conclusion, which help in framing the argument and summarizing your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalent
  • interactive tools
  • human interaction
  • emotional intelligence
  • adaptability
  • personalized learning
  • democratizing education
  • integration
  • Artificial Intelligence (AI)
  • machine learning
  • real-time feedback
  • fostering
  • critical thinking
  • mentorship
  • tech-driven
What to do next:
Look at other essays: