IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Technology is becoming increasingly prevalent in the world today. In the not too distant future, technology will completly replace the teacher in the classroom . Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#technology #world #future #teacher #classroom
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Nowadays the most increasingly thing is
technology
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 about education system.
Technology
 will change the place with human
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
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 in the foreseeable future. I do not think it will  happen so
i
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I
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 am not with that opinion.
Firstly
technology
 never be like a human
teacher
, because it has no idea about
student
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students
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 feelings and problems
because
Correct word choice
apply
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if students have any problem
about
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with
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 anything they can not focus on their
study
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studies
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.
Secondly
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Secondly,
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people
 can not connect with any
technology
 and
also
 face-to-face interaction is another important thing between
teacher
 and student.
Finally
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Finally,
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people
 can help and understand each other but
technology
 never. On the one
hand
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hand,
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 every
people
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person
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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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  mistakes but
technology
 is not a human so it is  perfect and never
make
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makes
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mistake
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mistakes
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 about anything.
Technology
 is created by
people
, so it does not rank higher than the
people
.
On the other
hand
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hand,
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technology
 has a wealth of
comfortly
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comfort
 sides
about
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to
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 education
for example
 it can teach the lesson more clearly than
human
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a human
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teacher
.
To sum up
, it does not matter how much
grow
Verb problem
apply
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technology
, it cannot
to takes
Verb problem
take
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 the place
in
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of
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 humans.
Submitted by Writing9 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more logically. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that there is a logical progression from one paragraph to the next. Using linking words or phrases can help with the flow of the essay.
Task Achievement
Provide more detailed examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
Task Achievement
Try to elaborate more on your ideas to make them clearer for the reader. This includes explaining why you think technology can or cannot replace teachers in certain ways.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and takes a clear position on the issue, which is critical to achieving task response.
Task Achievement
You have rightly identified some important aspects, like the importance of human interaction and emotional understanding, which are relevant to the topic at hand.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay contains an introduction and a conclusion, which help in framing the argument and summarizing your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalent
  • interactive tools
  • human interaction
  • emotional intelligence
  • adaptability
  • personalized learning
  • democratizing education
  • integration
  • Artificial Intelligence (AI)
  • machine learning
  • real-time feedback
  • fostering
  • critical thinking
  • mentorship
  • tech-driven
What to do next:
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