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Band 5.5

Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #museums #art #galleries #objects #works #computer
Public concern has arisen about whether visiting
museums
 and
art
 galleries is still needed
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when we can see the same exponents on a computer. I tend to disagree with
this
 statement for several reasons. The primary factor we need to take into consideration is that visiting a certain gallery or museum is a drastically different experience than seeing it online.
Museums
 have been around for a long time now. From their
longevity
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longevity,
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 an assumption can be made that witnessing an artwork from a
close up
Add a hyphen
close-up
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 perspective lets you see certain details that computer pixels can not even display. Not being able to see the full potential of an exhibit can really be a shame. To be more exact, if
museums
 and
art
 galleries become extinct,
art
 would lose a lot of its unique value,
stunning
Correct word choice
and stunning
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 and vibrant colours and
people
 would not feel the need to see it as much. It is evident that visiting a place with historical exhibits or
art
 from all around the world is beneficial to cultural knowledge. Going to a certain exhibition can really broaden one's scope of understanding culture. More precisely,
ordinarily
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ordinarily,
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people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 have some kind of understanding of what arts and history bring to the table go to
such
 exhibitions and the feeling of just being there is special. Bringing kids to
such
 places would definitely increase their attention span because they would have to spend quite some time at the same place, in
this
case
Add the comma(s)
case,
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 a museum or an
art
 gallery, and give them a wider spectrum of historical knowledge for their life.
Therefore
, not only should
people
 avoid going to cultural hubs like these but should
also
 consider bringing their children together. For these reasons, I am convinced that computers are
no where
Join the words
nowhere
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 near
in
Change preposition
apply
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replacing
museums
 and
art
 galleries. As far as I am concerned
people
 should keep going to these places and develop their knowledge and appreciation for
art
 and history through direct experience.
Submitted by oimigle on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • virtual
  • digital
  • online
  • accessibility
  • inclusivity
  • cultural heritage
  • physical experience
  • immersion
  • local tourism
  • economy
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