Nowadays, the mobile phone plays a major role in our lives, which brings many benefits to us but also contains some drawbacks. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

#phone #role #lives

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There is no denying the fact that mobile

phones

Use synonyms

are playing a major role in our lives.

While

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it is a commonly held belief that there are many benefits to us from

phones

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. It is

also

Linking Words

an argument there are disadvantages to using a

phone

Use synonyms

this

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essay will analyze the topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On the one

hand

Add a comma

hand,

show examples

like we said before there are a lot of benefits of using

phones

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, like how contact with others becomes more

esay

Correct your spelling

easy

essay

In other

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words

Add a comma

words,

show examples

social media

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

it more esay to make new friends from different countries,

for example

Linking Words

learn

Wrong verb form

learning

show examples

more about their culture,

tradition

Correct word choice

and tradition

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and using a

phone

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make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

learning and working online more flexible

for example

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using black

bord

Correct your spelling

board

show examples

to take your class.

On the other hand

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, of course, like we have advantages we have

also

Linking Words

disadvantages. It is

also

Linking Words

possible to say that we do not have private space everyone can know where we are or if we travel or not, and when we vast each other we sit watching our

phones

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moreover

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also

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as a small family they talk less even children

thay

Correct your spelling

they

stay all the day playing in them parents'

phone

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and same times kids having there private

phone

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For

Linking Words

instance

Add a comma

instance,

show examples

it makes children have new diseases like

spaking

Correct your spelling

speaking

problems and more electricity in their minds. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to

this

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question, on balance,

however

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, I tend to believe that, we should

to useing

Verb problem

use

show examples

phones

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balance there are no right answers.

Submitted by mona11omar33 on Mon Nov 04 2024

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Task Achievement

Aim for more detailed and specific examples to further highlight your points. This will add depth to your arguments and provide a clearer understanding for the reader.

Coherence and Cohesion

Be cautious of sentence fragments, such as 'while it is a commonly held belief that there are many benefits to us from phones.' Ensure each sentence is complete to improve clarity.

Task Achievement

There are several spelling and grammatical errors such as 'more esay' which should be 'easier,' 'spaking problems' instead of 'speaking problems,' and 'thay stay all the day' instead of 'they stay all day.' Review and correct these inaccuracies to improve readability.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay begins with a clear introduction that sets out the topic and the main points that will be discussed.

Task Achievement

You effectively cover both the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones, providing a balanced view.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your conclusion acknowledges the complexity of the issue while leaning towards a balanced approach to mobile phone usage.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

254 words

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Nowadays, the mobile phone plays a major role in our lives, which brings many benefits to us but also contains some drawbacks. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children? (Band 8,5)

Some claim history is one of the most important school subjects. Others assume that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History.

In some cultures, childrens are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors and there is a lack of a sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?

Discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline is the responsibility of teachers, while other think it is role of parents. Discuss both side and give your opinion.