Nowadays famous people are photographed by professional photographers everywhere they go. Some people say this is a good thing because the public are interested in their lives. Other people think that photographers are wrong to follow famous people.
These days the issue of whether expert photographers have
right
to follow celebrities in order to take Correct article usage
the right
portrates
Correct your spelling
portraits
,
has sparked considerable debate. Remove the comma
apply
While
some individuals think that it is benefitial
for society, others contend that it should be banned because several reasons. I agree with Correct your spelling
beneficial
latter
group and provide my reason in Add an article
the latter
this
essay.
On the one hand, a part of community
Correct article usage
the community
argue
that taking photos of famous Change the verb form
argues
people
has some advantages for society. Entertainment, for
example
, is the reason for their believe
. Replace the word
belief
For
example
these photos can be used in celebrity news or articles in magazines. A lot of Add a comma
example,
peaple
read and watch these materials to pass their Correct your spelling
people
leasur
time.
Correct your spelling
leisure
On the other hand
, the other part of this
debate, argue
that Correct subject-verb agreement
argues
government
should limit or Correct article usage
the government
bann
the photographers Correct your spelling
ban
to do
Change preposition
from doing
this
action, because this
may influence celebrities' privacy. This
means, for
example
, the freedom of people
are
in cinema or Unnecessary verb
apply
polititions
should not be Correct your spelling
politicians
limitted
by Correct your spelling
limited
such
occasions. For instance
, thesse peaple
are not comfortable in restaurants or Correct your spelling
these people
shop
Replace the word
shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres
due to
presence
of photo takers.
I believe the most important reason that nobody should take photos from Correct article usage
the presence
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
people
without their verification is the security issue. Some offenders may want to hurt the famous ones. By accessing these pictures they may find out wher
they regularly go and manage an attack Correct your spelling
where
when
to
them. Change preposition
on
For
example
, last
year, Jastin
Biebber was been Correct your spelling
Justin
attaked
in Correct your spelling
attacked
the
restaurant Correct article usage
a
that
one Correct word choice
where
paparatzi
had taken a photo of him.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
paparazzi
while
some believe that photo shooting of famous people
has benefits for entertainment
industry, I Add an article
the entertainment
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
Correct article usage
the governent
governent
absolutely should take Correct your spelling
government
the
policies to address Correct article usage
apply
this
issue because of privacy and security.Submitted by jingelbing on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance clarity, ensure each paragraph clearly focuses on a single main idea. Although the essay introduces clear arguments for both sides of the debate, transitions between these ideas could be smoother. Try using linking words and phrases effectively to guide the reader through your points.
task achievement
The task response is fairly good as you dealt with both sides of the issue and provided a personal opinion. However, make sure your position is consistent throughout the essay and avoid contradictory statements. In the conclusion, emphasize your stance more strongly.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, creating a clear structure.
task achievement
Specific examples, such as the Justin Bieber incident, effectively illustrate the arguments presented, enhancing the task achievement score.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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