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Writing Samples
Band 7

The noise level around us is constantly increasing and affecting the quality of our lives. What are the causes? What should be done about it?

The
noise
Use synonyms
 pollution issue is somewhat a new problem but
that is
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 not to hinder the importance of it for it is crucial.
While
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 we might be able to tolerate
this
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 situation now, it will not be long before it becomes intolerable and unless we find the root cause of it and find ways to solve it, it will worsen the the quality of our lives.
This
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 essay will delve deeper into it and aim to achieve a solution for
this
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 problem.
Firstly
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, to find out what we can do about it we should find out what are the causes. The modern era comes with modern
tools
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; engines, drills, cars and all sorts of modern
tools
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 that roar when they are working.
In addition
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 to these
tools
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,
people
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 now have access to devices that can make load sounds.
For instance
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,
people
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 now have access to cars and sometimes use the horns in a way that only can
be served
Wrong verb form
serve
show examples
 as
noise
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. To combat the growing concern about the
noise
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 level we must come up with ways to remedy it and fix the causes. One
such
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 way is to set regulatory laws and enforce them.
As a result
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 of these regulations companies and
people
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 who are responsible for making
noise
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 will start to fix them because every sane person rather start heeding
this
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 law before facing a hefty fine.
For example
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, the government could set a fine for the honking without any logical reason which will prevent
people
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 from honking unnecessarily.
To conclude
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, I think it is modern
tools
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 and machines that gave way to
noise
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 pollution. We,
however
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, still have time to fix it and one of the effective ways to do so is by firm regulations.

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task achievement
To further improve, consider adding more specific examples that illustrate the effects of noise pollution, such as studies or statistics showing its impact on health or daily life.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all main ideas are thoroughly supported with examples or detailed explanations. This will help increase your score for supported main points.
task achievement
Make sure to explore multiple solutions or aspects of the issue to provide a balanced and comprehensive task response.
task achievement
The essay effectively identifies causes of noise pollution and proposes actionable solutions.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which help maintain a solid structure throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt directly and provides a full yet succinct response.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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