People increasingly access the news online these days, rather than bying newspapers and magazines to find our what is going on. Some people predict that, because of the spread of Internet news, the newspapers will disappear at some point in the future. Do you agree that newspapers will die out in the future
It is often said that the
Internet
provide
Change the verb form
provides
people
with the latest news
more than newspapers and magazines.It could be a reason for paper based
Add a hyphen
paper-based
news
would vanish. Humans expect that , because of the rapidly spreading information online. Personally, I completely agree with that statement, as I have witnessed these changes with my own eyes in a
real life.
On the one hand , online Correct article usage
apply
news
connect
us with all information that happens around the world extremely quickly. A majority of Correct subject-verb agreement
connects
population
, especially young Add an article
the population
people
relies on social media to be aware of today’s world. The Internet
connection allows us to the most recently
Change the adverb
recent
news
in seconds. For instance
, when a member of the renowned boy band has
died after falling from the third floor of a hotel a few weeks ago, fans knew about that accident before his family. One of the followers saw a Unnecessary verb
apply
tragical
falling and posted that he was a witness Replace the word
tragic
of
Change preposition
to
singer’s
death. The post went viral very fast. Correct article usage
the singer’s
Moreover
, people
are able to be well informed of news
of countries where relatives live. It makes feel
less worried about Correct pronoun usage
them feel
safety
of their families. To illustrate, information about earthquakes in Turkey which happened one year ago were in various Add an article
the safety
news
sites. These sites immediately linked everyone with cities’
Correct article usage
the cities’
condition
and Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
number
of injured civilians.
Correct article usage
the number
On the other hand
, there could be misinformation and fake news
in
the Change preposition
on
Internet
, rather than newspapers
. These facts could cause panic and severe damage to the psychology of humans because of unreliable Change preposition
in newspapers
source
. Nowadays, adults and youth believe everything that they see online. Fix the agreement mistake
sources
For example
, which state is guilty in
warsChange preposition
of
.
Citizens could look through Change the punctuation
?
to
the not verified articles and consider them as a truth. It creates wrong opinions and could support violence and cruelty. Change preposition
apply
However
, news
that is
confirmed by government
is more trustworthy. It Add an article
the government
likely
geared towards being knowledgeable about these days.
In conclusion, Add a missing verb
is likely
i
strongly believe that paper Change the capitalization
I
news
could be vanished in future. Probably , because benefits prevail drawbacks
of using the Change preposition
over drawbacks
Internet
as a source of world’
Change noun form
world
s
adjustments. Correct your spelling
's
Less
Change the quantifier
Fewer
people
might go through magazines to check updates. It is easier and faster to use new technology.Submitted by nana_skylife on
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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on subsections within paragraphs for a clearer progression of ideas. The logical structure could be strengthened by ensuring each point links smoothly to the next. Use clear signposting language such as 'Firstly', 'Additionally', and 'In conclusion'.
Task Achievement
For better task achievement, ensure that each point made about the future demise of newspapers is thoroughly explored. Some ideas, like misinformation on the internet, could be further elaborated to enhance the breadth of the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively set up and wrap up the piece, offering a clear stance on the topic.
Task Achievement
Good use of specific and relevant examples, like the social media incident, which helps illustrate the arguments effectively.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, discussing relevant issues such as the speed and accessibility of online news versus traditional newspapers.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite