In many parts of the world, children's were very different from today. What do you think weather adventages or disadventages of life for children in the past?

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In every country on the planet, there is disagreement around the topic of

kids

Use synonyms

' growth. With regard to

this

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topic, few consider,

nowadays

Correct word choice

that nowadays

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, juveniles

are

Verb problem

have

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changed a lot.

According to

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my perspective, these changes have more cons than their pros and provide some relevant grounds.

To begin

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with, there is no doubt

kids

Use synonyms

are very different than in the past and it brings numerous concerns to society. Primarily, in

this

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modern era, adolescents are spending more

time

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on the internet, TV or video games.

Therefore

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, they do not like to take part in any physical exercise or games.

Consequently

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, many

kids

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start suffering from obesity or other diseases.

Likewise

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kids

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are isolated from society because they prefer to spend

time

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on social media rather than spending

time

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with their in-person friends and relatives.

For instance

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, a recent survey conducted by

Time

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News of India indicates that almost 50% of children in Mumbai City do not like to go to relative functions and they spend most of their

time

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on social media.

Additionally

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, in

this

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fast-moving era, both

parents

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are working to give a better lifestyle to their family. Henceforth, many guardians start sending their

kids

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to daycare from their initial months. Partially, children get less

time

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to spend with their

parents

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As a result

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, many

kids

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have less attraction to their

parents

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and many

kids

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are lacking from moral values.

For example

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, an article written by The University Of New York illustrates that almost 80% of

parents

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in New York send their infants to daycare and they spend less

time

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with their

kids

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Hence

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, in today's world, many children are losing the substantial value of family.

On the contrary

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, undoubtedly,

this

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modern era brings prominent changes in

kids

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lives

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Firstly

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kids

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are more advanced. They have all the knowledge about the internet and they can make their career in IT easily. Meanwhile, many

kids

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start earning from a very small age like video making on social media. In a nutshell,

although

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kids

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are changing very fast,

nevertheless

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, advancement in

kids

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lives

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takes away many improbable things from their

lives

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Thus

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, guardians ought to give more focus

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show examples

kids

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lives

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and try to make their childhood memories more precious.

taniamall786Tue Nov 05 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Improve the logical flow by organizing your ideas more clearly. Consider using transitional words and phrases to better connect your points.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure your introduction clearly sets up the discussion and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points with a strong closing thought.

Task Response

Clarify your ideas to make your arguments more comprehensive and easier to follow.

Task Response

You provide relevant specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.

Task Response

Your essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, showing a balanced view.

Coherence and Cohesion

The main points are generally supported with evidence and examples.

16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

368 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

imaginative play
supportive environment
community bonds
outdoor activities
technological advancements
educational opportunities
responsibilities
mental health awareness
independent exploration
traditional gender roles
cultural heritage
historical knowledge
healthcare advancements
childhood development

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In many parts of the world, children's were very different from today. What do you think weather adventages or disadventages of life for children in the past?

Fewer and fewer young people are choosing to become a teacher. Why do young people do not want to become teachers? How this could be changed?

Now a lot of people in the college are doing academic study, we should encourage them to learn a vocational skill like plumber, electrician. Do you agree or disagree?

The tourism industry has grown enormously over the last fifty years, and there are few places which are unaffected by it. However, tourism rarely benefits the countries which tourists visit. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do nor require the financial security that marriage can bring. To waht extent do you agree or disagree?

As the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost becaue of computers, and discuss at least one problem that may result.