In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #children #work #people

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Some nations let a child

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

a paid job

for getting

Change preposition

to get

show examples

job-related experiences,

while

others argue that it is a strongly unsatisfactory approach.

Although

giving children

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

work could mean that they can enrich their knowledge and skills as early as possible, giving them

full time

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

learning at school is

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

essential for preventing them from

unecessery

Correct your spelling

unnecessary

stress. On the one hand, people

bellow

Correct your spelling

below

show examples

18 years old

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

in many particular areas around the world to prepare them to become more professional workers later. It is a fact that in

this

age group, their brains have

Change the article

the

show examples

power to absorb

many

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

information swiftly. As

the

Correct article usage

show examples

result, they could learn by doing and be more

skillfull

Correct your spelling

skilful

skillfully

when they turn to an adult.

For example

, parents in the USA who let their

offsprings

Fix the agreement mistake

offspring

show examples

selling

Wrong verb form

sell

show examples

lemonade in front of their house, have more chances to make their little ones

knowing

Wrong verb form

know

show examples

more about money management.

On the other hand

, others prefer to make their sons and daughters focus on studying only at least until they finish

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

high

schools

Fix the agreement mistake

school

show examples

. It is because young

mankinds

Correct your spelling

mankind

tend

Correct subject-verb agreement

tends

show examples

to have unmature

psycological

Correct your spelling

psychological

mechanism

Fix the agreement mistake

mechanisms

show examples

. They may

can

Remove a modal verb

apply

show examples

memorize faster

then

Replace the word

than

show examples

the elders but they

could not

Wrong verb form

cannot

show examples

cope

stress

Change preposition

with stress

show examples

esier

Correct your spelling

easier

Hense

Correct your spelling

Hence

show examples

, later in

workplace

Add an article

the workplace

show examples

, they tend to make many mistakes

becauselack

Correct your spelling

because lack

of knowledge.

For instance

, almost of Indonesian entrepreneurs who

are not have

Change the verb form

do not have

show examples

any

sertificate

Correct your spelling

certificate

or degree are more likely to lose their businesses easier. In conclusion, even

tough

Correct word choice

though tough

show examples

boys and girls in some places are getting

experiencees

Correct your spelling

experiences

experience

and income from work, it will be wiser to not force them to do that and do learning only.

Submitted by lulukfuru on Tue Nov 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph supports a clear main idea, and links back to the main argument or point. As it stands, some supporting points could be more explicitly connected to your main argument.

task achievement

Proofread to catch and correct minor grammatical errors and typos, such as 'bellow' instead of 'below' or 'haben' instead of 'have'.

task achievement

Elaborate on your examples to make them more relevant and specific to the argument you are making.

task achievement

The essay provides a balanced view by discussing both perspectives on the issue, which is commendable for task achievement.

coherence cohesion

You have included an introduction and conclusion, which provides a clear structure to your piece.

task achievement

The example of children selling lemonade is a practical and relatable scenario that adds value to your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people consider price as most important thing to think about when buying product (such as cell phone) or service (eg medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries,more and more people are hiring personal fitness trainers, rather than playing sports or doing excercise cleasses. what are the reasons for it? Is this a positive trend?

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by fast food. This has a negative impact on families, individuals and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of dealing with the poor. What are some of the reasons for world poverty? How can the poor be helped? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.