Some people believe that it is important to give gifts and presents to friends and family to show that we care about them.Others think that there are better ways to show that we care about them.discuss both views and give your opinion.

Family and friends are the most valuable
gift
from god and we have to retain that
gift
until we die. If we want to retain them in our whole life there are two
ways
that we have to consider one is giving gifts and
present
Correct subject-verb agreement
presents
show examples
to them to
show
that we
care
about them and another
way
is that there some other
ways
to
show
our
care
. first of
all
Add a comma
all,
show examples
lets
Replace the word
let's
let us
show examples
discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
giving
Add an article
a gift
show examples
gift
Fix the agreement mistake
gifts
show examples
to them. giving
gift
Add an article
a gift
show examples
to
some one
Correct your spelling
someone
show examples
who is
valuable
Add an article
a valuable
show examples
person
in our life will help us that we
care
about them and their value so
then
they can believe that we love them and they will
show
their
care
too. and there are
somany
Correct your spelling
so many
articles and
reasearch
Correct your spelling
research
says that most of the
people
like collecting
gift
Add an article
the gift
show examples
from
others
in their special
occation
Correct your spelling
occasion
occasions
. that will make them happy and it will return to us in various
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
. when we treat
people
with memorable
gift
Fix the agreement mistake
gifts
show examples
and
present
Fix the agreement mistake
presents
show examples
that will make them that they are the most valuable
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
and
that is
the best
way
to get hope
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
us. there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
no
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
special things that we should give to them it might be small or big, priceless or not it does not matter the thing is
that do
Verb problem
whether
show examples
we give
gift
Add an article
a gift
the gift
show examples
to our special
person
or not.
Others
think that there are better
ways
to
show
that we
care
about them. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
do not expect
Add an article
a gift
show examples
gift
Fix the agreement mistake
gifts
show examples
from
others
they expect
that
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
do
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
love and
care
about them. there are some
ways
to make them happy
such
as
wish
Wrong verb form
wishing
show examples
them
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their special days like
mbirthday
Correct your spelling
birthdays
and wedding
anniversary
Fix the agreement mistake
anniversaries
show examples
and
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraging
show examples
them when they are in trouble and
wish
Wrong verb form
wishing
show examples
them for their effort. it will make them most happiest
person
in the world and that will return to us in various
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
. every time we will not be able to give
gift
Fix the agreement mistake
gifts
show examples
to our family and friends at that time our single message can change their moods and
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
. In
fact
Add a comma
fact,
show examples
people
don't
care
that
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
we give
gift
Add an article
a gift
show examples
or present to them they expect that
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
we love and
care
them
Change preposition
for them
show examples
so
in conclusion
Add the comma(s)
, in conclusion,
show examples
giving
gift
Add an article
the gift
a gift
show examples
will make
others
happy and even if we don't give
gift
Correct article usage
a gift
show examples
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
we should
show
that we
care
and think about them so that will help us for a
harmonius
Correct your spelling
harmonious
relationship with our relatives and friends.
Submitted by nrilwan373 on

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, consider integrating more specific examples and experiences to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on improving the logical flow between paragraphs and ideas, ensuring smooth transitions.
introduction conclusion present
The essay begins with a clear introduction that outlines both perspectives.
introduction conclusion present
You conclude the essay with a balanced view, summarizing key points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Tangible symbols
  • Affection
  • Materialism
  • Cultural traditions
  • Impact
  • Relationships
  • Quality time
  • Acts of service
  • Communication
  • Shared experiences
  • Equating
  • Emotional presence
  • Physical presence
  • Material possessions
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