Many people spend the whole day at a computer and don’t have much time for exercise. What problem does this lifestyle lead to? How can these problems be avoided?? Give reason for you answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge and experience.
A lot of individuals are busy with their PCs
,
and do not have Remove the comma
apply
opportunity
to Correct article usage
the opportunity
workout
. Correct your spelling
work out
Such
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
lifestyle
culminates in isolation and health issues. However
, from my perspective, not having time for moving
is just an excuse. I Change preposition
to move
wholeharedly
believe that everyone can create at least one hour to walk or exercise.
In today's world, Correct your spelling
wholeheartedly
people
have become exceedingly dependent on computers. This
shift has brought new
Correct article usage
a new
lifestyle
, which is sedentary. In such
a context, we encounter more health and mental problems related to this
lifestyle
. For instance
, as a result
of lacking face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
communications
, Fix the agreement mistake
communication
people
have become more self-centered
, and it has led to asocial Change the spelling
self-centred
behaviors
. Change the spelling
behaviours
Furthermore
, by sitting in front of the computers, the number of overweight individuals has soared. Corresponding to Correct article usage
a sedentery
sedentery
Correct your spelling
sedentary
lifestyle
, 15
Correct article usage
a 15
percent
of increment in the ratio of obese Change the spelling
per cent
people
has been observed. Unfortunately, obesity is closely linked to cardiovascular diseases and diabetes.
Since people
are prone to make themselves believe that such
lifestyle
is the only alternative to live, it has become an addiction. Yet, there is no unbreakable habit. If they are not slaves, everybody can create at least 1 hour to make themselves move. Correct article usage
a lifestyle
A routine
work, Correct article usage
Routine
such
as shopping, for instance
, can be done in person instead
of doing it online, or 20 minutes of walking in open
air might be considered. These solutions may seem insignificant, but their effects are remarkable. Correct article usage
the open
Consequently
, generating excuses about life is easy; yet, consequences
Correct article usage
the consequences
to face
are heavy.
In conclusion, there are Verb problem
apply
a
numerous challenges have come with static life, Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
such
as a lack of dialogue and obesity-rooted health conditions. In fact, there are numerous solutions to tackle this
problem if people
do not produce excuses.Submitted by TUTOO on
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task achievement
Your response to the task is comprehensive; however, try to include more specific examples to reinforce your arguments better. Consider using statistics or case studies where possible.
coherence cohesion
Your essay flows well with clear connections between ideas. To enhance coherence, ensure that each paragraph directly supports your thesis and that the transitions between paragraphs are smooth.
coherence cohesion
You've presented a solid introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay and summarizing the key points.
task achievement
You clearly address the issues caused by a sedentary lifestyle and offer viable solutions, which is a great demonstration of task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical and easy to follow, with a clear progression of ideas.