Many people spend the whole day at a computer and don’t have much time for exercise. What problem does this lifestyle lead to? How can these problems be avoided?? Give reason for you answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge and experience.

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A lot of individuals are busy with their PCs
,
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apply
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and do not have
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
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to
workout
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work out
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.
Such
sedentary
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a sedentary
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lifestyle
culminates in isolation and health issues.
However
, from my perspective, not having time
for moving
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to move
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is just an excuse. I
wholeharedly
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wholeheartedly
believe that everyone can create at least one hour to walk or exercise. In today's world,
people
have become exceedingly dependent on computers.
This
shift has brought
new
Correct article usage
a new
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lifestyle
, which is sedentary. In
such
a context, we encounter more health and mental problems related to
this
lifestyle
.
For instance
,
as a result
of lacking
face to face
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face-to-face
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communications
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communication
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,
people
have become more
self-centered
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self-centred
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, and it has led to asocial
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
.
Furthermore
, by sitting in front of the computers, the number of overweight individuals has soared. Corresponding to
Correct article usage
a sedentery
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sedentery
Correct your spelling
sedentary
lifestyle
,
15
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a 15
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percent
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per cent
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of increment in the ratio of obese
people
has been observed. Unfortunately, obesity is closely linked to cardiovascular diseases and diabetes. Since
people
are prone to make themselves believe that
such
lifestyle
Correct article usage
a lifestyle
show examples
is the only alternative to live, it has become an addiction. Yet, there is no unbreakable habit. If they are not slaves, everybody can create at least 1 hour to make themselves move.
A routine
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Routine
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work,
such
as shopping,
for instance
, can be done in person
instead
of doing it online, or 20 minutes of walking in
open
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the open
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air might be considered. These solutions may seem insignificant, but their effects are remarkable.
Consequently
, generating excuses about life is easy; yet,
consequences
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the consequences
show examples
to face
Verb problem
apply
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are heavy. In conclusion, there are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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numerous challenges have come with static life,
such
as a lack of dialogue and obesity-rooted health conditions. In fact, there are numerous solutions to tackle
this
problem if
people
do not produce excuses.
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task achievement
Your response to the task is comprehensive; however, try to include more specific examples to reinforce your arguments better. Consider using statistics or case studies where possible.
coherence cohesion
Your essay flows well with clear connections between ideas. To enhance coherence, ensure that each paragraph directly supports your thesis and that the transitions between paragraphs are smooth.
coherence cohesion
You've presented a solid introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay and summarizing the key points.
task achievement
You clearly address the issues caused by a sedentary lifestyle and offer viable solutions, which is a great demonstration of task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical and easy to follow, with a clear progression of ideas.
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