IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

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Many undergraduates wish to
study
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 various subjects along their main course,
while
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 others believe that it’s more important to scope all your concentration and energy into only
one
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 qualification. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views. showing why the latter surpasses the former. On the
one
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 hand, those who argue that studying other subjects alongside the main ones might seek a wider range of information.
This
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 is because they might think that it is more important to have a little bit of everything than to put all your focus into
one
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 field. Looking into history, we can see multiple figures who achieved professionalism in
one
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 field
along with
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 other smaller accomplishments in other
fields
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.
For example
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, the Islamic philosopher and physician Ibn Sina, who is mainly famous for being the father of modern science, has
also
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 other accomplishments in
fields
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 like astronomy, geography, and mathematics.
On the other hand
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, I believe that putting your focus into only your course is essential in order to reach supremacy and to keep your mind settled without scattering your attention and wasting your energy on various subjects.
This
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 is the case because most
fields
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 require excessive knowledge of all the aspects and branches of certain sciences, making them too complex to be studied partly.
For instance
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, it would be too hard and nearly impossible for an engineer studying physics, geometry, mechanics, and arithmetic to
study
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 another subject
such
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 as history.
Moreover
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, studying a lot of branches of
study
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 at once would mostly lead to a lack of professionalism in any of them. In conclusion,
while
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 some college students believe that they can
study
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 a lot of
fields
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 at once and still achieve supremacy, I believe that
this
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 is a nearly impossible task and that they should focus on just their profession in order to become specified technicalists.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure to maintain consistent focus across the essay. While the arguments were clear, occasionally, the transitions between ideas could be smoother for better flow.
task achievement
To enhance the task response, expand on the examples provided to demonstrate a broader understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure topic sentences clearly align with the overall direction of the essay for improved cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a clear and organized introduction and conclusion, effectively outlining the discussion and summarizing the writer's view.
task achievement
The essay presents a thorough exploration of both views, showing a balanced understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Strong, relevant examples enrich the argument and help illustrate the main points effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
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