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Band 5

Young people are often infuenced by their peers.Do the advantages of peer pressure outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #peers #peer #pressure
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It is argued that the main influencer in youngsters' lives is
peer
Use synonyms
 pressure.
While
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 the disadvantages of
peer
Use synonyms
 pressure are often
highlightened
Correct your spelling
highlighted
,there are
also
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 situations where the advantages can outweigh these drawbacks.
To begin
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 with,
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
infuence
Correct your spelling
influence
 of fellow can act as
negative
Add an article
a negative
the negative
show examples
 side in young
people
Use synonyms
's lives in some regards.
For instance
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,if a boy has various terrible habits
such
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 as drinking alcohol,smoking or consuming drugs.These tendencies
od
Correct your spelling
of
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 him affect
people
Use synonyms
 around him,especially his close friends could be damaged.They,since,watch and try to
do
Correct pronoun usage
do it
show examples
.
As a result
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,
this
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 circumstance may wound juniors' both mental and physical sides.
This
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,so,can lead to unresolvable issues for both parents and young
people
Use synonyms
.What is more,
another cons
Replace the adjective
another con
other cons
show examples
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
peer
Use synonyms
 pressure can
make
Verb problem
cause
show examples
 conflicts among
people
Use synonyms
 who are
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
,causing fatal consequences in some cases.
On the other hand
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,
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 influencing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fellows can be beneficial in some conditions
This
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 can create a healthy environment to pursue
towards
Change preposition
apply
show examples
targets and goals for juniors.
For instance
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,if there is a competition in school or college as
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
games
Capitalize word
Games
show examples
 which
rewars
Correct your spelling
rewards
reward
 them with pricy prizes,students participate in it,
obe
Correct your spelling
one
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 loses and another one wins.In effect,the
obe
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
 who could not beat try to take prizes and
ti
Correct your spelling
to
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 be a winner next time.And he or she works on himself or
helself
Correct your spelling
herself
 by doing hard work.
This
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,
consequently
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,triggers self-development and building more confidence.
Furthermore
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,it is
also
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 worth mentioning that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most individuals are achieving something in their lives and careers
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 influence of
Use synonyms
peer
Fix the agreement mistake
peers
show examples
.All the time,they watch their peers' successes,triumphs and achievements,urging them to do better.
Hence
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,
this
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 drives them to move forward,
perform
Correct word choice
and perform
show examples
 their tasks.
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
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,not merely
this
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helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 to transform
onesʼ
Correct your spelling
one's
lifestyles
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyle
show examples
,behaviours and characters into
advanced
Correct pronoun usage
advanced ones
show examples
,but it
also
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 benefits
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
society.
To sum up
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,
while
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 there are numerous drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
statement
Add an article
the statement
a statement
show examples
,it has
also
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 more advantages which should be considered and supported.
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task response
Make sure to address both advantages and disadvantages with equal depth to fully cover the prompt.
task response
Provide more specific examples to reinforce your points.
coherence
Work on sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity.
coherence
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to improve flow between sentences and paragraphs.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively address the topic.
supported main points
You attempted to provide examples for your points, which shows understanding of the task.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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