Fewer people are reading books these days. Therefore we should close all libraries and use the funds for something more urgent like healthcare. Do you agree or disagree,

It has been claimed that the number of people reading books has decreased significantly these days. The
resources
,
thus
, would be better utilized for other issues,
such
as
healthcare
. I strongly object to
this
idea as I believe that libraries are vital as
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as
healthcare
centres are.
Acknowledgebly
Replace the word
Acknowledgeably
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, there are a number of advantages of redirecting
resources
to sectors like
healthcare
, one of which is that it could improve the
overall
health and well-being of the population. Increasing funding can lend a helping hand
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
providing more medical equipment for lots of areas which have people who might have limited access.
For example
, in many rural areas, additional funding could allow for more mobile clinics, bringing essential services like health check-ups, maternal care, and emergency services.
This
would ensure more people receive timely care, reducing preventable health issues.
As a result
, better
healthcare
facilities and
resources
could lead to a healthier population, which can positively impact the economy and quality of life.
However
, if all
resources
were moved from libraries towards
healthcare
, society would lose an important educational resource.
While
healthcare
is essential for physical well-being, libraries support intellectual and personal growth, and neglecting
this
can result in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
less informed individuals.
Submitted by Writing9 on

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task achievement
Provide a more balanced discussion in the essay, considering both sides of the argument equally before stating your opinion. This will make your essay's task response more comprehensive.
task achievement
Ensure the main ideas are detailed further and well-developed throughout the essay. This will improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your response.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between ideas and paragraphs to ensure the essay flows smoothly from one point to the next, enhancing overall cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear conclusion summarizing your main points and restating your position clearly to ensure a strong finish to your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines your position, setting a clear direction for the essay.
task achievement
Relevant examples were provided, such as the provision of mobile clinics in rural areas, strengthening your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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