In an era of globalization, some people think that studying abroad is the best way to attain a well-paid job while others believe other options are better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In the globalization world, some
of
Change preposition
apply
the
people assume that a job with a high wage, could be obtained by studying apart from Correct article usage
apply
homeland
country, Correct pronoun usage
their homeland
whereas
others are of the opinion that other selections are better. In my view, for the
Correct article usage
apply
third world
Add a hyphen
third-world
country's people
going abroad to study is the easiest and best way to get rid of Change noun form
countries
poor
life quality.
On the one hand, the quality of education is greatly appreciated in Correct article usage
a poor
the
Correct article usage
apply
first degree
territories Add a hyphen
first-degree
such
as the USA and Finland, therefore
humans who are willing to get better knowledge, they
are supposed to look for schools, Correct pronoun usage
apply
institutions
in those lands. Correct word choice
and institutions
For example
, one of the great role model
is Elon Musk, he is from South Africa and made a lot of efforts to go abroad to study and live, he studied Change to a plural noun
models
bachelor's
and master's in the top universities and now he is one of the most Change preposition
for bachelor's
improverished
businessmen all over the world.
Correct your spelling
impoverished
On the other hand
, receiving education
in Correct article usage
an education
motherland
will Correct article usage
the motherland
take
forward welfare level, because the talented youngsters can be realised by officials in the colleges and make opportunities to advance them very well, afterwards take advantage of them by employing Verb problem
improve
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
the
high places which are well-paid. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, Azerbaijani authorities assure pupils who graduate with high grades, to be employed in the
well-known companies.
Personally, genius adolescents are wasted because of poor governments in Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
third degree
countries like India. Add a hyphen
third-degree
Thus
, every year many people move to foreign lands to have a better schooling or university degree and today, in the
renowned workplaces, they have Correct article usage
apply
the
great positions like CEO, General Manager or Professors.
In conclusion, in the globalization era, some think that a Correct article usage
apply
better paid
job can be acquired by moving abroad to study, Add a hyphen
better-paid
however
others think that other options are better. In my opinion, studying abroad could be considered as the best way to dispose of poor work and find out a good lifestyle.Add the comma(s)
however,
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good framework for discussion.
task achievement
You included relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points, such as the mention of Elon Musk and Azerbaijani graduates.
Fully explain your ideas
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
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- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
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- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
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- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
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