Some people believe that money makes a live comfortable others think that a large amount of money brings in more trouble. Do the advantages of having a lot of money outweigh the disadvantages.
It is often argued whether
money
can make life easier and more convenient. Many people
are convinced that having an immense amount
of money
may cause serious problems. Personally, I firmly assert that the advantages outweigh the drawbacks. In this
essay, I am going to elucidate both the advantages and disadvantages of this
.
One of the main benefits of having a huge amount
of money
is that it ensures people
obtain a high-quality education. Wealthy people
have an opportunity to study at the most prestigious universities. For instance
, most of the individuals who graduated from universities such
as Yale became successful in their careers.Furthermore
,affluent ones can provide good nutrition for themselves,so they consume expensive and high-quality food.Thus
,they can maintain healthy diets and keep their body strength.Also
,rich people
have access to the best medical services and check up on the state of their health with qualified doctors.Consequently
,they decrease the risk of a variety of endangered diseases.Moreover
,wealthy individuals constantly travel around the world because their huge fortune allows them to travel often.This
helps them to make their life not only comfortable but also
happier which leads to stress reduction.For example
, scientists suggest visiting other countries and changing the scenery in order to reduce anxiety.
Nevertheless
,having an enormous amount
of money
may cause serious problems.Some wealthy people
lack financial management,so they can easily ruin their abundance.For instance
,renowned actor Macaulay Culkin because of his drug addiction, barely was deprived of his fortune.It is also
accepted that people
who have a lot of money
have a tendency to be surrounded by fake friends.It affects their mental health stability,
and sometimes leads to psychological issues.
In conclusion,possessing a huge Remove the comma
apply
amount
of money
has adverse effects on people
`s lifestyles.Whereas
I strongly believe that the benefits outweigh the downsides.However
, It is recommended that people
have to develop money
management skills.Submitted by pandatvin3 on
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task achievement
Make sure to address both sides of the argument more evenly. The essay could benefit from elaborating on the disadvantages of having a lot of money to ensure a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Maintain clear paragraph breaks and consistent spacing between sentences to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay offers a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
Well-explained advantages with relevant examples, such as the benefits of education and health resources for wealthy individuals.
task achievement
Good use of specific examples to support main points, like mentioning Yale graduates and Macaulay Culkin's financial issues.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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