IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people say trees should be planted in the vacant areas of city and towns, while others say housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?

#trees #environment #people #areas #city #towns #facilities
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Numerous people are working for the welfare of humankind on
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
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.
Such some
Correct word choice
Some
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 are ensuring that humans can get
better
Correct article usage
a better
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enviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 tend to focus on making better
places
 for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
.
However
, both might not agree with each other's ideas. In the following paragraphs, I will
try
Add the particle
try to
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 discuss about reason how mass on one side consider planting as more significant
whereas
 individuals on the other side highlight
importance
Add an article
the importance
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 of housing and society. First of all, residential
places
 and units are
big
Add an article
a big
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 issue in various countries.
As a
Correct word choice
A
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 lot of people can not afford housing because there are
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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places
 and high prices.
Therefore
, many nations are trying their best to build new
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
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at
Change preposition
in
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vacent
Correct your spelling
vacant
 areas and
places
 to deal with the shortage of houses.
Moreover
,
this
 shortage can
also
 lead
various
Change preposition
to various
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 problems like
unhygenic
Correct your spelling
unhygienic
places
 and congested living can
cause
Verb problem
put
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 safety and health at risk.
For Instance
, in Delhi, India,
there
Replace the word
their
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numerous
Add a missing verb
are numerous
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poors
Correct your spelling
poor
 living in small areas
unhygenically
Correct your spelling
unhygienically
hygienically
 because there are not
sufficent
Correct your spelling
sufficient
places
 for everyone.
Hence
, it can be said,
forming
Correct word choice
that forming
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living
Correct article usage
a living
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 for the people of the country is highly crucial.
Secondly
, growing more
trees
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 empty spaces
are
Change the verb form
is
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 equally pivotal. In fact, these can be quite
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 to
solve
Wrong verb form
solving
show examples
 many issues
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 facing nowadays.
Like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Global warming is one of many problems.
Therefore
, more
trees
 can actually save
planet
Add an article
the planet
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 from becoming a hot planet in the future and can make it worth living like before.
For example
, planting
trees
 can help to reduce the levels of CO2
hence
lower
Replace the word
lowering
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 temperature and
produces
Wrong verb form
producing
show examples
Change the article
a
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lot of oxygen for humans.
Thus
,
trees
Change the noun form
tree
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 plantation is equally advantageous.
To conclude
, both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views are alarming issues but I agree with the
stateement
Correct your spelling
statement
 that
need
Correct article usage
the need
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of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 sowing more
sapling
Fix the agreement mistake
saplings
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 is highly required. As it does not make sense to lose what we have from nature in
hope
Correct article usage
the hope
show examples
 of having better homes, if there is no earth
then
ofcourse everthing
Correct your spelling
of course everything
 is just waste.
Submitted by preetsimran0123 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to structure your arguments more clearly by explicitly indicating the main points in the introduction and elaborating on them in a logical order throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph connects clearly to the next to enhance the flow of the essay. Use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
task achievement
Strive to present ideas and viewpoints more comprehensively, ensuring that each point is explored in depth.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction gives a clear overview of the topic, and your conclusion summarizes the main points effectively.
task achievement
You demonstrate an understanding of both perspectives, which adds depth to your response.
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