TOPIC: In recent years, the family structure and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of changes can occur? Do you think these changes are positive and negative?
In modern times, the way of living in the family and
behaviour
of family members are significantly changing Correct article usage
the behaviour
due to
the varations
and options available in the Correct your spelling
variations
world
. There are different changes which corresponds
in both situations, either optimistic or a negative Change the verb form
correspond
affects
on the emotional conditions of family traditions.
In the contemporary Correct your spelling
effects
world
, there are numerous changes and development
in the daily life routine, which plays a key role in the behavior of human psychics. In the first place, Fix the agreement mistake
developments
people
are more getting remote and seek for such
opportunities that provide a better way of living in the future, therefore
, they move outside of their homelands by leaving families
. Correct pronoun usage
their families
This
notion directly affects the emotional behaviour of family structure because they rely upon each other. Secondly
, in most countries
, particularly Western and European countries
lifestyles are different from rest
of the Correct article usage
the rest
world
, for instance
, mostly
adults Correct your spelling
most
upto
23 years of age, move outside of their Correct your spelling
up to
home
and live life independently. Fix the agreement mistake
homes
Moreover
, after getting married they usually live separately from their parents which also
plays a key factor in bringing changes in their lifestyles.
Comparatively, most Arab and Asian countries
are more likely to live their life with parent
and in the joint-family system, Fix the agreement mistake
parents
however
, this
pattern is also
changing due to
the rising demands of economic conditions. Therefore
, young people
are migrating to live abroad. Similarly
, migration also
leads the
minimum influence of traditional norms to be implemented by the young Change preposition
to the
people
in other countries
. Therefore
, now people
are not encouraging their conventional means which results in the diminishing of traditions in the world
.
The changing pattern of lifestyle and the behavior
of members play a vital role in conjoining the family, Change the spelling
behaviour
however
, the mentality of people
is changing and they are developing themselves under the reliance of
Change preposition
on
the
technology and economic race. For some reasons, it is good to maintain Correct article usage
apply
economic
conditions of a family, Correct article usage
the economic
whereas
one should not leave behind the family traditions.
In conclusion, there are some leading reasons that play a significant role in the living structure of families and effects
them Verb problem
affect
due to
different scenarios. And, apparently, they should not be encouraged on the
vast level, because it may Correct article usage
a
cause
Verb problem
have
negative
impact on the emotional behaviour of older Add an article
a negative
people
in the family.Submitted by rooha.javed on
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task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples to support your points, which will help strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph has a clear central idea, and develop it sufficiently before moving on to another point.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow between paragraphs by using linking words and phrases to guide the reader clearly from one idea to another.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, framing the essay neatly and offering a clear overview of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the main topic effectively, considering both types of changes and their positive or negative impacts on families.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example