TOPIC: In recent years, the family structure and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of changes can occur? Do you think these changes are positive and negative?

In modern times, the way of living in the family and
behaviour
Correct article usage
the behaviour
show examples
of family members are significantly changing
due to
the
varations
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variations
and options available in the
world
. There are different changes which
corresponds
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correspond
show examples
in both situations, either optimistic or a negative
affects
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effects
show examples
on the emotional conditions of family traditions. In the contemporary
world
, there are numerous changes and
development
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developments
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in the daily life routine, which plays a key role in the behavior of human psychics. In the first place,
people
are more getting remote and seek for
such
opportunities that provide a better way of living in the future,
therefore
, they move outside of their homelands by leaving
families
Correct pronoun usage
their families
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.
This
notion directly affects the emotional behaviour of family structure because they rely upon each other.
Secondly
, in most
countries
, particularly Western and European
countries
lifestyles are different from
rest
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the rest
show examples
of the
world
,
for instance
,
mostly
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most
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adults
upto
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up to
23 years of age, move outside of their
home
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homes
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and live life independently.
Moreover
, after getting married they usually live separately from their parents which
also
plays a key factor in bringing changes in their lifestyles. Comparatively, most Arab and Asian
countries
are more likely to live their life with
parent
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parents
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and in the joint-family system,
however
,
this
pattern is
also
changing
due to
the rising demands of economic conditions.
Therefore
, young
people
are migrating to live abroad.
Similarly
, migration
also
leads
the
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to the
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minimum influence of traditional norms to be implemented by the young
people
in other
countries
.
Therefore
, now
people
are not encouraging their conventional means which results in the diminishing of traditions in the
world
. The changing pattern of lifestyle and the
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
of members play a vital role in conjoining the family,
however
, the mentality of
people
is changing and they are developing themselves under the reliance
of
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology and economic race. For some reasons, it is good to maintain
economic
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the economic
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conditions of a family,
whereas
one should not leave behind the family traditions. In conclusion, there are some leading reasons that play a significant role in the living structure of families and
effects
Verb problem
affect
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them
due to
different scenarios. And, apparently, they should not be encouraged on
the
Correct article usage
a
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vast level, because it may
cause
Verb problem
have
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negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
impact on the emotional behaviour of older
people
in the family.
Submitted by rooha.javed on

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task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples to support your points, which will help strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph has a clear central idea, and develop it sufficiently before moving on to another point.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow between paragraphs by using linking words and phrases to guide the reader clearly from one idea to another.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, framing the essay neatly and offering a clear overview of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the main topic effectively, considering both types of changes and their positive or negative impacts on families.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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