Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that financial topics and
courses
should be prioritized over
students
' learning
as well as
other mandatory subjects at
schools
to help
students
prepare for managing financial issues in the future. I strongly agree and believe that the government should try to implement the policy to teach financial subjects and skills at
schools
. First of all, in the advanced world, a significant number of people have encountered financial challenges.
In other words
, many individuals have difficulty meeting their needs
due to
, financial problems.
Therefore
, if people especially the younger generation make an effort to improve their problem-solving skills including financial issues, it can contribute to
overall
well-being and
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
in their personal lives. Consider a person as an example, who has not earned a sufficient salary over the years, if
this
individual learned, through a younger age, to set their skills and knowledge toward solving financial challenges, he would exert significant progress to find an accurate way, uppering successful leader in order to meet his needs easily.
On the other hand
, some
courses
taught at
schools
are not as practical as they must
.
Add a missing verb
be.
show examples
Even though, taking some practical
courses
such
as finance not only brings a sense of
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
, can
also
help
students
prepare for a distant future. A prime illustration of
this
is a school that encourages
students
to pick finance lessons,
this
approach can inherently yield success.
As a result
, many parents will make a decision to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
their children at these kinds of
schools
. In conclusion,
although
there are different views toward teaching financial
courses
as a mandatory subject at
schools
, I strongly believe that
this
approach not only can lead to success for both individuals and societies as a whole but can
also
contribute to the
overall
well-being
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
people.
Submitted by eskandari.mahanz66 on

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language
Try using more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to articulate your points more effectively.
coherence
Ensure all points directly link back to the main argument, avoiding potential digressions.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence
Work on the clarity of expression; some complex sentence structures slightly affected readability.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and provides a stance on the issue of financial education in schools.
task achievement
The use of examples, like the school encouraging finance lessons, aids in illustrating the argument.
coherence and cohesion
A logical introduction and conclusion are present, which help frame the argument and round off the essay nicely.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial literacy
  • Mandatory
  • Budgeting
  • Economic stability
  • Fiscal health
  • Credit
  • Interest rates
  • Investments
  • Curriculum
  • Informed decisions
  • Personal debt
  • Savings
  • Taxes
  • Expenditures
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Money management
  • Financial planning
  • Economic education
  • Financial competence
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