Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that financial topics and
courses
should be prioritized over students
' learning as well as
other mandatory subjects at schools
to help students
prepare for managing financial issues in the future. I strongly agree and believe that the government should try to implement the policy to teach financial subjects and skills at schools
.
First of all, in the advanced world, a significant number of people have encountered financial challenges. In other words
, many individuals have difficulty meeting their needs due to
, financial problems. Therefore
, if people especially the younger generation make an effort to improve their problem-solving skills including financial issues, it can contribute to overall
well-being and fulfillment
in their personal lives. Consider a person as an example, who has not earned a sufficient salary over the years, if Change the spelling
fulfilment
this
individual learned, through a younger age, to set their skills and knowledge toward solving financial challenges, he would exert significant progress to find an accurate way, uppering successful leader in order to meet his needs easily.
On the other hand
, some courses
taught at schools
are not as practical as they must.
Even though, taking some practical Add a missing verb
be.
courses
such
as finance not only brings a sense of fulfillment
, can Change the spelling
fulfilment
also
help students
prepare for a distant future. A prime illustration of this
is a school that encourages students
to pick finance lessons, this
approach can inherently yield success. As a result
, many parents will make a decision to enroll
their children at these kinds of Change the spelling
enrol
schools
.
In conclusion, although
there are different views toward teaching financial courses
as a mandatory subject at schools
, I strongly believe that this
approach not only can lead to success for both individuals and societies as a whole but can also
contribute to the overall
well-being for
people.Change preposition
of
Submitted by eskandari.mahanz66 on
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language
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coherence
Ensure all points directly link back to the main argument, avoiding potential digressions.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence
Work on the clarity of expression; some complex sentence structures slightly affected readability.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and provides a stance on the issue of financial education in schools.
task achievement
The use of examples, like the school encouraging finance lessons, aids in illustrating the argument.
coherence and cohesion
A logical introduction and conclusion are present, which help frame the argument and round off the essay nicely.