IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts represent water consumption in three countries in 1980.

The charts represent water consumption in three countries in 1980.
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The pie charts illustrate the proportion of
water
Use synonyms
 used in three sections comparing three different countries in 1980.The figures are given in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
,it can be seen that
Britain
Use synonyms
 and the
USA
Use synonyms
 utilized
water
Use synonyms
 in industry the most
whereas
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 most of the
water
Use synonyms
 in Australia was consumed in agriculture.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Britain
Use synonyms
 and the
USA
Use synonyms
 had similar patterns.As you can see in the pie charts the majority of
water
Use synonyms
 was used in industry,accounting for 48% and 47% respectively.Followed closely by
water
Use synonyms
 consumption in agriculture which was 37% in
Britain
Use synonyms
 and 41% in the
USA
Use synonyms
.The least was utilized in households which were responsible for 15% in
Britain
Use synonyms
 and 12% in the
USA
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,people in Australia had different
water
Use synonyms
 consumption trends.More than half of the
water
Use synonyms
 was used in agriculture.Just under two-fifths of
water
Use synonyms
 was utilized in industry making it the second most consumed section.Households were still the least in all countries occupying less than 10%.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, britain, usa with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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