IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The figure shows demographic trends in Scotland. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The figure shows demographic trends in Scotland. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
#figure #trends #scotland #summarise #information #features
The figure shows demographic trends in
Scotland
. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
Given
Correct article usage
The given
show examples
 graph shows demographic trends in
Scotland
. There are three percentage rates, which are proportional to
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
 of time
since
Change preposition
from
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 1940 until 2020.
First
Change the article
The first
show examples
rate
 is
birth
, in which we can see
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
a percentage
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 of newborns.
According to
Scottish
Correct article usage
the Scottish
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 chart, there is a general
fluctuative
Correct your spelling
fluctuation
fluctuating
 decrease
started
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 from 1940 to 1965. The highest peak of
birth
 was in 1940,equal to 2.5 per cent, and after
rapid
Correct article usage
a rapid
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fall
 in 1945,
Scotland
 faced
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
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 rise before
moderate
Correct article usage
a moderate
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reduce
Replace the word
reduction
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 in
birth
rate
, until reaching the
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 0.5. There are
also
 trends of death and
population
growth
, which are
tie
Wrong verb form
tied
show examples
 to each other.
Due to
 a significant
fall
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 death
rate
 since 1940 from 1.5% until 1955 to 0.5%, Scots experienced moderate
growth
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
population
, equal to more than 1.5%. Next 50 years
population
 rise
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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stopped and started going down. There is no data regarding
growth
Add an article
the growth
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 of
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 after 2005,
moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
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 after
1960
Change the article
the 1960
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year
Correct your spelling
the
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growth
rate
 was mostly dependent on
birth
Correct article usage
the birth
show examples
rate
, owing to
stability
Add an article
the stability
show examples
 of deaths in
Scotland
. Summarising all the data given,
Scotland
 conceived
demographic
Correct article usage
a demographic
show examples
fall
 in 70 years mostly
due to
 a dip
fall
 in
birth
.
Submitted by moon2014angel on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words scotland, rate, birth, fall, population, growth with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "figure" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "trends" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "moderate" was used 2 times.
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