The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.

Error loading image :(
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The map pictures above
,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma may be separating the subject and verb in your sentence. Consider removing it.

show examples
indicate the changes that were made to the West Park Secondary
School
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in the 60-year period after it was built (1950 to 2010).
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, from 1950 to 1980, houses beside the
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

building gave their place to a parking lot and the science block, which is an extended part of the
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In the same period
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we can see that the lands used for farming changed the use to sports
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields

It seems that field may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, more
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences

It seems that difference may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
can be seen going from 1980 to 2010. One of which, is the parking area,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
covered half of the whole land and made the field of sports relocate, so the parking could take its place.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the playground's size decreased, so it could fit the new sports zone.
To sum up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the road, main
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

building and a part of the playground remained untouched during the period.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
science
Correct article usage
the science

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
block stood the same from 1980 to 2010,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply

It appears that the word but is unnecessary in this sentence. Consider removing it.

show examples
it was constructed with the
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words school with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: