IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many places, new homes are needed l, but the place available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this

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Housing
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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among the basic requirements of humans .
However
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 ,
due to
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 population expansion, there is
a
Remove the article
apply
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limited space available to build these
homes
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 in
cities
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. And , the only place where these
homes
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 could be built is in the
countryside
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. Some sociologists argue that it is
the
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apply
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vital to protect the
countryside
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 and
one
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 should not build new
homes
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 in rural areas. In my opinion, I think rural areas need to be equally developed like
cities
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 and
one
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 should consider building
homes
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 in the
countryside
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.
To begin
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 with, people are migrating to
cities
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 for
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 lifestyle
due to
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 which
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 in the
countryside
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 is declining. The facilities available in
cities
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 are not available in rural areas
due to
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 which people build
homes
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 in
cities
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 and settle there .
However
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,
Correct article usage
the increased
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increased
Change the form of the verb
increase
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 in demand for land to build
homes
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 in
cities
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results
Add the preposition
results in
results from
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 problems related to finding land .
One
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 should consider relocating to the
countryside
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 in order to solve
this
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 problem.
Additionally
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, it will welcome new opportunities in the
countryside
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. To illustrate
this
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 , consider a doctor relocating to the
countryside
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. It will open doors for a hospital in the
countryside
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.
Furthermore
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, living in the
countryside
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 has certain health benefits as the pollution is less . People grow healthier
due to
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 the fresh air from the trees.
Moreover
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, the food in the
countryside
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 is more nutritious and of good quality.
One
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 can consider settling down in the
countryside
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 and
enjoy
Wrong verb form
enjoying
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 the greenery it offers.
On the other hand
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,
government
Add an article
the government
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 should lay strict rules to protect the
countryside
Use synonyms
 from pollution and other hazards. Authorities should take certain measures to develop the
countryside
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 like
cities
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 but still retain its natural beauty. In conclusion,
one
Use synonyms
 could consider building a home in the
countryside
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due to
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various
Correct article usage
the various
show examples
 benefits it offers.
However
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 strict rules to protect the
countryside
Use synonyms
 should enforced .

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coherence cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs are linked with appropriate transitional phrases for better coherence.
task achievement
Try to offer a more detailed exploration of the opposing viewpoint to strengthen task response.
task achievement
Clarify and expand on how the relocation of people to the countryside can lead to other developments like schools and businesses.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, placing it well within band 7 range.
task achievement
Each main point is adequately supported, maintaining relevance throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay covers the given prompt effectively, addressing the key issues surrounding countryside and urban development.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rapid urbanization
  • housing demand
  • overcrowded cities
  • affordable housing
  • environmental degradation
  • biodiversity
  • natural habitats
  • ecological balance
  • sustainability
  • carbon sequestration
  • climate change
  • brownfield sites
  • urban regeneration
  • green building technologies
  • sustainable planning
  • energy-efficient designs
  • renewable energy sources
  • sustainable development
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