In many places, new homes are needed l, but the place available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this

Housing
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
among the basic requirements of humans .
However
,
due to
population expansion, there is
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
limited space available to build these
homes
in
cities
. And , the only place where these
homes
could be built is in the
countryside
. Some sociologists argue that it is
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
vital to protect the
countryside
and
one
should not build new
homes
in rural areas. In my opinion, I think rural areas need to be equally developed like
cities
and
one
should consider building
homes
in the
countryside
.
To begin
with, people are migrating to
cities
for
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
lifestyle
due to
which
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
in the
countryside
is declining. The facilities available in
cities
are not available in rural areas
due to
which people build
homes
in
cities
and settle there .
However
,
Correct article usage
the increased
show examples
increased
Change the form of the verb
increase
show examples
in demand for land to build
homes
in
cities
results
Add the preposition
results in
results from
show examples
problems related to finding land .
One
should consider relocating to the
countryside
in order to solve
this
problem.
Additionally
, it will welcome new opportunities in the
countryside
. To illustrate
this
, consider a doctor relocating to the
countryside
. It will open doors for a hospital in the
countryside
.
Furthermore
, living in the
countryside
has certain health benefits as the pollution is less . People grow healthier
due to
the fresh air from the trees.
Moreover
, the food in the
countryside
is more nutritious and of good quality.
One
can consider settling down in the
countryside
and
enjoy
Wrong verb form
enjoying
show examples
the greenery it offers.
On the other hand
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should lay strict rules to protect the
countryside
from pollution and other hazards. Authorities should take certain measures to develop the
countryside
like
cities
but still retain its natural beauty. In conclusion,
one
could consider building a home in the
countryside
due to
various
Correct article usage
the various
show examples
benefits it offers.
However
strict rules to protect the
countryside
should enforced .
Submitted by a.almakmari93 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs are linked with appropriate transitional phrases for better coherence.
task achievement
Try to offer a more detailed exploration of the opposing viewpoint to strengthen task response.
task achievement
Clarify and expand on how the relocation of people to the countryside can lead to other developments like schools and businesses.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, placing it well within band 7 range.
task achievement
Each main point is adequately supported, maintaining relevance throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay covers the given prompt effectively, addressing the key issues surrounding countryside and urban development.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rapid urbanization
  • housing demand
  • overcrowded cities
  • affordable housing
  • environmental degradation
  • biodiversity
  • natural habitats
  • ecological balance
  • sustainability
  • carbon sequestration
  • climate change
  • brownfield sites
  • urban regeneration
  • green building technologies
  • sustainable planning
  • energy-efficient designs
  • renewable energy sources
  • sustainable development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: