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Band 5

With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet. What problems may this trend lead to? What solutions would you recomend?

#development #media #youngsters #access #internet #trend #recomend
Widely use of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 allowed people
get
Fix the infinitive
to get
show examples
 primary data
Change preposition
in at
show examples
at
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 few seconds.
Although
 it is effective and
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
, it not perfectly use for young people, especially
it
Correct word choice
if it
show examples
allow
Change the verb form
allows
show examples
 some unsupervised access, and it should
take
Verb problem
be
show examples
 action to control the
inapproprate
Correct your spelling
inappropriate
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. To start with,
incocrect
Correct your spelling
incorrect
 use of
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 will bring
demage
Correct your spelling
damage
 on
teenagers
 mental development.
Teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
Teenagers
show examples
 are the
largister
Correct your spelling
largest
 age group for using
Correct article usage
the internect
show examples
internect
Correct your spelling
Internet
 and there are several
advertisement
Change to a plural noun
advertisements
show examples
 for the unsupervised access link randomly occur on many
platform
Change the noun form
platforms
show examples
,
such
 as social media, research
website
Fix the agreement mistake
websites
show examples
, and
clip
Fix the agreement mistake
clips
show examples
. All
this
Correct pronoun usage
these
show examples
 may be the factors that
incresing
Correct your spelling
increase
 the
posibility
Correct your spelling
possibility
 of
teenagers
access
Wrong verb form
accessing
show examples
 the unsupervised link in
unawareness
Replace the word
an unaware
show examples
 way. Those unsupervised websites may provide unsuitable content for people who
under
Add a missing verb
are under
show examples
 18y,
for example
, porn,
voilent
Correct your spelling
violent
 or bleeding reels, and untruth
information
.
Recieving
Correct your spelling
Receiving
inapproprate
Correct your spelling
inappropriate
information
 at
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 stage may generate
harmful
Correct article usage
a harmful
show examples
 impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their mental development. Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they may lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
engough
Correct your spelling
enough
 critical thinking ability to
determin
Correct your spelling
determine
 the
infomation's
Correct your spelling
information's
information
 credibility.
In addition
,
teenagers
 may copy and
plase
Correct your spelling
place
please
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 the
internect
Correct your spelling
internet
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reality, which means the wrong
information
 may
leading
Change the form of the verb
lead
show examples
 a bad behaviour
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 youngsters. Moving on, the
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 and educational
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
 should take action to illustrate and educate
role
Correct article usage
the role
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
yuongers
Correct your spelling
youngers
youngsters
younger
.
Goverments
Correct your spelling
Governments
 and schools should adapt the intervention to
teenagers
,
such
 as
opperate
Correct your spelling
operate
 lectures and
hold
Wrong verb form
holding
show examples
 some activities. Ensuring that
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
 have
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
 to avoid
click
Wrong verb form
clicking
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unsupervised links and
disdinguish
Correct your spelling
distinguish
 those
badly
Change the word
bad
show examples
information
.
Furthermore
,
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should take action
on supervised
Change preposition
to supervise
show examples
 the unwant
information
Correct pronoun usage
that occur
show examples
occur
Correct subject-verb agreement
occurs
show examples
 on
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
Thus
 can reduce the
propability
Correct your spelling
probability
 that
teenagers
 encounter
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unsuitable
information
.
To sum up
, the
draback
Correct your spelling
drawback
 of
teenagers
 who go through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unsupervised material may
causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 harmful to their mental health and lead
Change preposition
to inapproprate
show examples
inapproprate behviours
Correct your spelling
inappropriate behaviour
 in real life.
Also
,
Correct article usage
the govement
show examples
govement
Correct your spelling
government
 and educators should
privide
Correct your spelling
provide
 the intervention to them.
Submitted by huangjiali617 on

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spelling error
Try to reduce the number of spelling errors for clearer communication.
relevant examples
Include more specific examples to support your points.
logical structure
Aim for a smoother logical progression between ideas, and improve on linking devices.
task achievement
The essay addresses the problem of unsupervised internet access for youngsters and provides potential solutions.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion effectively summarize and address the main points.
supported main points
You consider the mental health impact and suggest educational interventions.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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