IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advanced technology which can prevent and solve the crime. Do you agree or disagree?

#crime #rate #technology
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There is no doubt, that the
crime
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 rate has decreased in recent years. I firmly believe
,
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apply
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 that
causes
Correct article usage
the causes
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 of
this
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 trend are
the
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apply
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modern technologies,
wich
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which
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help
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helps
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 prevent and uncover crimes.
To begin
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 with, as the reason
of
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for
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 preventing prohibited activities, the impact of CCTV and phone cameras will be considered.
This
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 is because offenders know, that their robbery or
a
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apply
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murder will be recorded and they will be found, which stops criminals from
commiting
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committing
such
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 activities. It is proved by the example, where in New York street bands and singular offenders
commited
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committed
 a lot of thefts and shootings
at the end
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 of
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the 20-th
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20-th
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20th
 century;
however
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, after the appearance of CCTV, the rate of
crime
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plammed
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planted
slammed
.
In contrast
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, in cities where cameras do not exist, dangerous people do not have the deterrent factor.
In addition
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, the usage of modern forensic
technics
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techniques
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such
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 as
the
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apply
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DNA samples and mobile
phones
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phone
show examples
 billing decreases
unsolved
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the unsolved
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crime
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 rate significantly.
In other words
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, the
existance
Correct your spelling
existence
 of a small
peace
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piece
show examples
 of skin or
a
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apply
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hair
in
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at
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 the scene of murder may be researched and used as
a strong evidence
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strong evidence
a piece of strong evidence
a shred of strong evidence
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 against a murderer.
For instance
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, in the US more than 80% of
havy
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heavy
have
 crimes have been solved because of findings of the DNA samples of criminals at the
crime
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 scenes. Another example is the murder of the Murdek family, where the decisive argument against the
occused
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accused
 was the billing of his mobile phone. In conclusion, I would stick to my opinion that contemporary
thechnologies
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technologies
 have decreased the number of crimes
as well as
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 helped solve
the
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apply
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crime
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.
This
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 is because
the
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of the
show examples
 wide CCTV
existance
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existence
 and a lot of
technics, which
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techniques that
 can prove
presence
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the presence
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 of the suspect
in
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at
show examples
 the
crime
Use synonyms
 scene.
Submitted by sergeybelov83 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, enhancing the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas more comprehensively to avoid any ambiguities or misunderstandings in your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction that presents your stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
You support the main points with relevant, specific examples, such as the decline in crime in New York and the use of DNA in solving crimes.
task achievement
The task is addressed fully by discussing both the prevention and solution aspects of technology in crime reduction.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • surveillance systems
  • CCTV cameras
  • forensic technology
  • crime scene analysis
  • conviction rates
  • data analytics
  • predictive policing
  • high-risk areas
  • cybersecurity measures
  • cybercrime
  • sensitive information
  • social media
  • online platforms
  • emergencies
  • law enforcement response
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