The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advanced technology which can prevent and solve the crime. Do you agree or disagree?

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There is no doubt, that the
crime
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rate has decreased in recent years. I firmly believe
,
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apply

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that
causes
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the causes

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of
this
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trend are
the
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apply

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modern technologies,
wich
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which

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help
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helps

The plural verb help does not appear to agree with the singular subject wich. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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prevent and uncover crimes.
To begin
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with, as the reason
of
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for

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preventing prohibited activities, the impact of CCTV and phone cameras will be considered.
This
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is because offenders know, that their robbery or
a
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apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun murder in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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murder will be recorded and they will be found, which stops criminals from
commiting
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committing

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such
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activities. It is proved by the example, where in New York street bands and singular offenders
commited
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committed

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a lot of thefts and shootings
at the end
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of
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the 20-th

The noun phrase 20-th century seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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20-th
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20th

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century;
however
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, after the appearance of CCTV, the rate of
crime
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plammed
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planted
slammed

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.
In contrast
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, in cities where cameras do not exist, dangerous people do not have the deterrent factor.
In addition
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, the usage of modern forensic
technics
Correct your spelling
techniques

The word technics doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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such
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as
the
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apply

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DNA samples and mobile
phones
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phone

Your sentence appears to use the incorrect form of phones. Consider changing it to singular.

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billing decreases
unsolved
Correct article usage
the unsolved

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crime
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rate significantly.
In other words
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, the
existance
Correct your spelling
existence

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of a small
peace
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piece

The word peace doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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of skin or
a
Correct article usage
apply

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hair
in
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at

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the scene of murder may be researched and used as
a strong evidence
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strong evidence
a piece of strong evidence
a shred of strong evidence

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun evidence in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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against a murderer.
For instance
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, in the US more than 80% of
havy
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heavy
have

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crimes have been solved because of findings of the DNA samples of criminals at the
crime
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scenes. Another example is the murder of the Murdek family, where the decisive argument against the
occused
Correct your spelling
accused

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was the billing of his mobile phone. In conclusion, I would stick to my opinion that contemporary
thechnologies
Correct your spelling
technologies

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have decreased the number of crimes
as well as
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helped solve
the
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apply

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crime
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
This
Linking Words

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is because
the
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of the

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wide CCTV
existance
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existence

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and a lot of
technics, which
Correct your spelling
techniques that

The words technics, which seem to be misspelled. Consider replacing them.

can prove
presence
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the presence

The noun phrase presence seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of the suspect
in
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at

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the
crime
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

scene.

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, enhancing the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas more comprehensively to avoid any ambiguities or misunderstandings in your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction that presents your stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
You support the main points with relevant, specific examples, such as the decline in crime in New York and the use of DNA in solving crimes.
task achievement
The task is addressed fully by discussing both the prevention and solution aspects of technology in crime reduction.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • surveillance systems
  • CCTV cameras
  • forensic technology
  • crime scene analysis
  • conviction rates
  • data analytics
  • predictive policing
  • high-risk areas
  • cybersecurity measures
  • cybercrime
  • sensitive information
  • social media
  • online platforms
  • emergencies
  • law enforcement response
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