IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some experts believe that it is better to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#experts #language #school #outweigh
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Children
are encourage
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are encouraged
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 to learn a foreign
language
, some believe that
teach
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teaching
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 them at primary school is better than secondary school.
Although
 there are disadvantages
teaching
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to teaching
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new
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a new
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language
in
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at
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the
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an
show examples
 early
age
, I believe that the advantages are far greater. Cognitive thinking
of
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in
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children
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at in
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in
Correct your spelling
an
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 early
age
 especially
at
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in
show examples
 primary education is powerful
due to
 their developing
brain
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brains
show examples
. It is easier for
children
 to learn new information
such
 as pronunciation and grammar. At
this
age
, they are more likely to develop fluency and achieve higher proficiency over time. Not only that, learning
new
Add an article
a new
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language
 at
early
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an early
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age
helping
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helps
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children
 to
expose
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be exposed
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 to different cultures and
building
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builds
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 more global awareness.
In
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As
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result
Correct article usage
a result
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to
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apply
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, they are more likely to become
more
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a more
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 open-minded
person
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people
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 when they grow up and
respecting
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respect
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 other
people
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people's
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perspective
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perspectives
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. Despite the many benefits, it is essential to recognize the possible drawbacks in commencing
this
 method. The lack of
high skill
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high-skill
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 educators could be the main disadvantage because implementing a foreign
language
 education
programs
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program
show examples
 is a complex one.
In addition
 to that, arranging
curriculum
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a curriculum
show examples
 that suits
this
 program is not easy.
However
, those challenges could be eliminated if the government hand in hand with schools give training to the existing educators and review the curriculum. In conclusion, even though there are some drawbacks
teaching
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to teaching
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 a foreign
language
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 primary education
such
us
Correct your spelling
as
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 resources of the high skills educators and curriculum
but
Correct word choice
apply
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the advantages
are outweigh
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
 the challenges and I believe that it is better to teach a foreign
language
 at
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 early
age
.
Submitted by kkomariyah92 on

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task achievement
Work on including more specific examples to support your points. Providing concrete examples can strengthen your argument and make it more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Clarify your sentence structures and work on small grammatical issues to enhance the clarity of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the argument you are making.
task achievement
You offer a well-rounded view by discussing both the advantages and potential disadvantages of learning a foreign language early.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Bilingualism
  • Linguistic development
  • Cognitive flexibility
  • Cultural competence
  • Neuroplasticity
  • Holistic education
  • Language acquisition
  • Language immersion
  • Proficiency
  • Primary education
  • Secondary education
  • Pedagogical approaches
  • Early language exposure
  • Academic enrichment
  • Multilingualism
  • Cross-cultural interactions
  • Fluency
  • Curriculum integration
  • Language pedagogy
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