IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Nowadays young people know less about traditions and culture than in the past. What are the reasons for it? Is this a positive development or a negative development?

#people #traditions #culture #development
Nowadays, society is developing rapidly, and new cultural shocks have gradually made
people
 forget traditional
culture
. Think it
depper
Correct your spelling
deeper
, what are the reasons for the decline of traditional
culture
 in the group of young
people
? First of all, it must be the impact of new cultural awareness. Nowadays, the social internet is developed, and cultures around the world can interact. Some cultures
tat
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 are more attractive to young
people
 will naturally be sought after, and young
people
 gradually forget the traditional
culture
 of their hometowns. Another reason
isthat
Correct your spelling
is that
 there is a problem with the way traditional
culture
 is spread. Society cannot convey traditional
culture
 to young
people
 in an interesting and high-quality way, which leads to young
people
's little interest in traditional
culture
, and even has a stereotype. So, in my opinion,
this
 phenomenon is a negative development. Accepting new
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 can certainly help us learn a lot of new knowledge, but
this
 does not mean that we have to abandon traditional
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
. Traditional
culture
 is a precious heritage
in herited
Correct your spelling
inherited
show examples
 from history and a valuable wealth
tat
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 can really benefit generations.
Submitted by asllchkied on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve your essay, be sure to provide specific examples or case studies that illustrate your points. For instance, you could discuss how social media influences young people's interest in different cultures.
coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your paragraphs to ensure each main idea is clear and flows logically to the next. Consider using linking words and phrases to enhance the organization.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to structurally frame your argument.
task achievement
You addressed both parts of the question by discussing reasons for the diminished interest in traditional culture among young people and evaluating it as a negative phenomenon.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Globalization
  • Digital platforms
  • Modernity
  • Educational priorities
  • Marketable skills
  • Cultural identity
  • Social cohesion
  • Ethnocentrism
  • Cultural extinction
  • Traditional practices
  • Interconnected world
What to do next:
Look at other essays: