IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

People will buy a product if it has quality or fulfil their needs. There is no need for advertisement. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #product #quality #fulfil #advertisement
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Whereas
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 it is true that
people
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 will keep buying
products
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 with good quality without advertising, I do still believe that companies should advertise their
products
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 to make consumers
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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aware of
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products'
Correct article usage
the products'
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 existence. First of all, in
this
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 competitive modern world, advertisements are necessary. There are too many
products
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 and too much information. Consumers can easily get confused by them. It is possible that they just make an easy decision, buying the cheapest
product
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 or the most popular one.
Therefore
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, companies should have strong marketing strategies and let
people
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 know what is good about their
products
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.
Also
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,
people
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 have different standards when
chosing
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choosing
 something.
For instance
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, imagine we buy an energy drink. Some buyers might want drinks with a lot of caffeine and others might want drinks with healthy ingredients.
Additionally
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, they wouldn't know whether it is a good
product
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 or a bad
product
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 until they actually buy and use it. To make them take an initial step, which is buying a
product
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 for the first time, it is crucial to give them
good
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a good
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 impression which explains well why a certain
product
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 is better than others and what it can offer to
people
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. It can probably lead to the reduction of costs in the future because they already
proved
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proven
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products'
Correct article usage
the products'
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 quality and
people
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 will continue to consume them. In conclusion,
although
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 companies themselves know how well their
products
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 are made, marketing is essential to promote their
products
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 which can bring good results in
people
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's perceptions or sales in the end.
Submitted by dob.jeong on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to further support your arguments. This can help strengthen your essay and make your points more relatable for the reader.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is well-organized, integrating additional transition words or phrases can enhance the flow between ideas.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear response to the question, arguing the necessity of advertising even for quality products.
coherence cohesion
There is a strong introduction and conclusion that frame the argument well, providing a clear perspective from the start and a summary at the end.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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