Task 2 Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Some
people
believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the price of tourist
attractions
for overseas
people
should be more expensive. I completely disagree with
this
view. In some countries, humans believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
cultural and historical
attractions
would be more costly for another country's
people
than
host
Add an article
the host
show examples
population.
Additionally
, these days
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourists
Change the noun form
tourist
show examples
attractions
are very expensive for tourists and local residents as well
such
as
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
, accommodations, transportation and other services. These factors,
as a result
, lead to more disadvantages for the
tourists
Change the noun form
tourist
show examples
economy system. If the government
prevents
Verb problem
keeps
show examples
the prices
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
lower and
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
the prices equally for other
country's
Fix the agreement mistake
countries'
show examples
people
, it would be
honestly
Change the word
honest
show examples
for everyone. On the other hand, I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Indonesia Brazil Canada,
provide
Verb problem
and Canada
show examples
to introduce some laws related to
this
situation because
Add the preposition
of
show examples
the cost for
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
expensive than local
people
.
Then
in
this
case
Add a comma
,
show examples
so many
people
don't want to travel there because of the cost . Admittedly there are some advantages to
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
more costly but these days in
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
of countries
Correct article usage
the
show examples
rate of the tourism industry is decreasing little by little. In turn , if the cultural and historical
attractions
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
were average costly for everyone , the numerous
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
go for travel on the holidays in other cities. In conclusion, I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the price for overseas humans should be
Change the word
similar
show examples
similarly
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
Correct article usage
the
show examples
host country's residents and
then
this
would be fairly for everyone in the world.
Submitted by Writing9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Focus on organizing your thoughts in a more structured way. Using clear transition words or phrases could help make the logical flow more evident.
task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task fully. In this case, further exploration of both sides of the argument (advantages and disadvantages) could enhance your response.
task achievement
Consider using more specific examples or hypothetical scenarios to support your main points. This will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, clearly stating the writer's opinion and summarizing key points.
task achievement
Your argument is well-expressed, showing a clear stance against the idea of charging foreigners more. The rationale is consistent throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!