IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Task 2 Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

#visitors #attractions
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the price of tourist
attractions
Use synonyms
 for overseas
people
Use synonyms
 should be more expensive. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view. In some countries, humans believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 cultural and historical
attractions
Use synonyms
 would be more costly for another country's
people
Use synonyms
 than
host
Add an article
the host
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 population.
Additionally
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, these days
the
Correct article usage
apply
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tourists
Change the noun form
tourist
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attractions
Use synonyms
 are very expensive for tourists and local residents as well
such
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 as
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
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, accommodations, transportation and other services. These factors,
as a result
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, lead to more disadvantages for the
tourists
Change the noun form
tourist
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 economy system. If the government
prevents
Verb problem
keeps
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 the prices
more
Change the word
apply
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lower and
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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 the prices equally for other
country's
Fix the agreement mistake
countries'
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people
Use synonyms
, it would be
honestly
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honest
show examples
 for everyone. On the other hand, I believe that
,
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apply
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Indonesia Brazil Canada,
provide
Verb problem
and Canada
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 to introduce some laws related to
this
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 situation because
Add the preposition
of
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the cost for
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
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more
Add a missing verb
is more
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 expensive than local
people
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.
Then
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 in
this
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 case
Add a comma
,
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so many
people
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 don't want to travel there because of the cost . Admittedly there are some advantages to
be
Wrong verb form
being
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 more costly but these days in
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
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 of countries
Correct article usage
the
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rate of the tourism industry is decreasing little by little. In turn , if the cultural and historical
attractions
Use synonyms
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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 were average costly for everyone , the numerous
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
go for travel on the holidays in other cities. In conclusion, I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the price for overseas humans should be
Change the word
similar
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similarly
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with
Change preposition
to
show examples
Correct article usage
the
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host country's residents and
then
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this
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 would be fairly for everyone in the world.
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coherence cohesion
Focus on organizing your thoughts in a more structured way. Using clear transition words or phrases could help make the logical flow more evident.
task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task fully. In this case, further exploration of both sides of the argument (advantages and disadvantages) could enhance your response.
task achievement
Consider using more specific examples or hypothetical scenarios to support your main points. This will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, clearly stating the writer's opinion and summarizing key points.
task achievement
Your argument is well-expressed, showing a clear stance against the idea of charging foreigners more. The rationale is consistent throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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