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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph gives information about drinking habits of the US population by age. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph gives information about drinking habits of the US population by age. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #habits #population #age #summarise #features #comparisons
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The bar graph presents data on
drinking
Correct article usage
the drinking
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 habits of American residents,
cotegorized
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categorized
categorised
 by
age
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groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, we observe that the biggest proportion of all
drinker
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 types is the
never
Add a hyphen
never-drinker
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drinker
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
. it is
also
Linking Words
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
 that
peaple
Correct your spelling
people
 reach the heavy
Use synonyms
drinker
Replace the word
drinking
show examples
 peak point in their middle
age
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. Looking into the details, the 16 to 24
age
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 60 per
cent
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 of the never
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drinker
Fix the agreement mistake
drinkers
show examples
 and 10 per
cent
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 for Ex-
drinker
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,
while
Linking Words
 in the
age
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 of 25 to 34 a decrease in the two types of
Use synonyms
drinker
Fix the agreement mistake
drinkers
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 by 5 per
cent
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
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each
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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.The light drinkers
takes
Change the verb form
take
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 approximately
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 quarter of the proportion, and the heavy
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drinker
Fix the agreement mistake
drinkers
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 do not even
a10
Correct your spelling
a 10
 per
cent
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 of each of them. When we talk about the middle ages 35-44 and 45-54,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 recorded almost
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half per
cent
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 who never drink and 5% and 10% respectively for
people
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 who stop drinking. The number of Heavy and light drinkers start to
expans
Correct your spelling
expand
expats
 at these ages. Turning
list
Correct article usage
the list
show examples
 to the two
last
Linking Words
catogeries
Correct your spelling
categories
, the percentage of heavy, light and never drinkers
deacrese
Correct your spelling
decreases
, as there is an increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
people
Use synonyms
 who
quite
Correct your spelling
quit
show examples
 drinking.
Submitted by danall1kat on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, drinker, people, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Drinking habits
  • Population demographics
  • Age group/bracket
  • Alcohol consumption
  • Frequency of drinking
  • Heavy drinking
  • Moderate drinking
  • Teetotaler
  • Legal drinking age
  • Societal norms
  • Trends over time
  • Underage drinking
  • Alcohol abuse
  • Health implications
  • Statistical data
  • Comparative analysis
  • Bar chart/Line graph
  • Binge drinking
  • Responsibility in drinking
  • Age-specific patterns
  • Cross-generational comparison
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