Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Several people think that it is understandable to give the state permission to our phone call records and online text to ensure security,
However
, others argue that this
information is private, and it needs our allowance to be accessed. In this
essay, I will explain about
Change preposition
apply
this
notion as well as
my argument.
To begin
with, authorities should have unlimited access
through
our record of activities because they need Change preposition
to
those information
as intelligence in response to any unlawful act. Change the determiner
that information
Thus
, any suspicious activities that may lead to crimes can be tracked and repressed. For example
, the government can predict and ,furthermore
, infiltrate any occurring drug deals by scanning phone calls.
On the other hand
, some people believe this
information is in everyone's personal space. They demand the right to be secure and get a guaranteed personal space. It has been a
government's responsibility to ensure their people's well-being. If a person lives in Correct article usage
the
a
constant discomfort Remove the article
apply
due to
the lack of security, it means the state fail
in executing their duty. Correct subject-verb agreement
fails
For instance
, before reformation, several demonstration
were held Change to a plural noun
demonstrations
because
the lack of privacy.
From my standpoint, I strongly believe that we need to have the full right Add the preposition
because of
of
our personal space, and any kind of Change preposition
to
access
to our particular details should be in our agreement. However
, as a citizen, we also
have the responsibility to take part in any criminal-repression
activity, which means we must allow any Correct your spelling
criminal repression
access
if it's related to important cases.
In conclusion, both the state and society have to share responsibilities in providing personal spaces as well as
allowing any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
access
in crucial circumstances.Submitted by 000silr111 on
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task achievement
Try to expand your arguments with more specific examples and analysis to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a consistent logical flow of ideas between paragraphs to further improve coherence.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion of both viewpoints.
complete response
You provided a balanced view and clear opinion on the issue, showing a good understanding of both sides.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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