People in all modern societies use drugs, but today’s youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example. Discuss the causes and some effects of widespread drug use by young people in modern day society.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In contemporary times, lifestyle of the individuals
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
changed
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
show examples
in past. As more and more number of youngsters reliabing on the legal and illegal narcotics have inclined nowadays. It is argued by some scholars that
yong
Correct your spelling
young
ones are following the wrong narrative set by the adults around them. Upcoming writing will discuss some reasons and consequences of the
above discussed
Add a hyphen
above-discussed
show examples
scenario. Young ones are like wet clay which can be moulded into any shape. It is noticed that most of the caregivers
do smoking
Wrong verb form
smoke
show examples
and
drinking
Wrong verb form
drink
show examples
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
of their kids, which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
youngsters think that it is normal to
smake
Correct your spelling
smoke
show examples
and drink. As children
grows
Change the verb form
grow
show examples
they will adopt
this
Linking Words
type of
lifestle
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
choices
Use synonyms
and most of the time young ones start consuming illegal narcotics and taking over
dose
Fix the agreement mistake
doses
show examples
.
As in
Change preposition
In
show examples
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
era
Add a comma
era,
show examples
children do not know
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
about the right and wrong
choices
Use synonyms
because they have not been told by anyone that it is a bad
choices
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, kids
indulges
Change the verb form
indulge
show examples
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
addiction because they feel that there is nothing wrong
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
consuming legal or illegal
nacotics
Correct your spelling
narcotics
.
Due to
Linking Words
the
rong
Correct your spelling
wrong
choices
Use synonyms
made during the growing
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
youth ends up in jeopardizing their future. Needless to
emphasise
Verb problem
say
show examples
, if
youth
Add an article
the youth
a youth
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
involved in addiction
instead
Linking Words
of focusing on
the
Change the word
their
show examples
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
they will not be able to make their future. Teenage is a crucial period of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one's life, as one can learn any skill very quickly during
this
Linking Words
stage. If most of the youngsters across the country
will be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
unskilled
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
all the sectors will collapse without skilled employees. If
youngones
Correct your spelling
young ones
are involved in dealing with illegal drugs
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
they can end up in jail and their life can become very devastating.
Therefore
Linking Words
, addiction can deflect a youngster from focusing on their future. Considering all the points above, there is no doubt that children learn values from
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
their guardians and if they are involved in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drugs
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
kids will believe that it is
normall
Correct your spelling
normal
normally
to consume narcotics, but
younsters
Correct your spelling
their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
can be ruined as they will not be able to focus on their career.
Submitted by simrantiwana1086 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. For instance, mentioning particular studies or statistics related to youth drug use would enhance the argument.
coherence cohesion
Refine and polish the language and sentence structure. Avoid minor grammatical errors and improve word choice for clarity and precision.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion around the issue of drug use among youth.
task achievement
The argument recognizes the role of environmental influences, such as parental behavior, in shaping young people's perception of drug use.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: