The bar chart below shows a survey of a group of young professional aged 20 to 30 years old who ere asked to state which factors motivated them to succeed.
The bar chart illustrates the information about eleven
factors
that 20 to 30 years old
experts consider to motivate them to accomplish in their life.The figure is divided into personal and external Correct your spelling
30-year-old
factors
and given in percentage.
Overall
,it can be seen that there are no significant differences between personal and external factors
.
To begin
with,the most two important factors
that contribute to their success are personal factors
which are personal satisfaction and their own ambition,accounting for just under 80%.However
,the two factors
from external ones follow closely,occupying 70% and 60% respectively.
The four other factors
consisting of three from personal groups namely desire for material things,money and rivalry and one from external groups namely peer pressure take part at nearly the same percentage which is around 40-50%.
The last
three influence factors
from personal factors
are feelings of inadequacy,envy/jealousy and fear of failure which only less than a third of young professional people are rated for.Submitted by chawanat.pla on
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words factors with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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