IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #college #university #experiences #career #preparation #support
Attending college or
university
 has become a trend in
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 world.Many young
people
 like
attend
Fix the infinitive
to attend
show examples
 college or
university
.Because it can bring a lot of
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 for them. First of all, it can help
people
 to get more
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
. Many
people
 want to learn more
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 in
university
. And many
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
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knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 can not
be learn
Change the verb form
be learned
show examples
 by
themselve
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themselves
. So they want to learn that in
university
.
Second,
people
 do not want to get a
job
. Many
people
 want to get a rest in
university
. They think
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 a
job
 is very
tired
Replace the word
tiring
show examples
. So they want to have more time to enjoy their
university
 life.
Moreover
, they think attending college or
university
 can help them to earn more money in
Correct article usage
the furture
show examples
furture
Correct your spelling
future
.
Graduated
Wrong verb form
Graduating
show examples
 from
university
 can help
people
 to get a
job
 more easily. And they can get a better
job
 in their
furture
Correct your spelling
future
 life. Because
thet
Correct your spelling
they
 get many
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 and
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
show examples
 in
university
.
Aslo
Correct your spelling
Also
, attending
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
university
 can help them to
broden
Correct your spelling
broaden
 their horizon.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure by organising ideas with clearer transitions and paragraphs.
task achievement
Enhance task response by fully developing ideas with specific examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to have an introduction and conclusion that clearly outline the main points discussed in the essay.
task achievement
The essay mentions multiple reasons why people attend college or university, such as gaining knowledge, avoiding work, and securing better jobs.
coherence cohesion
The writer provides a basic structure by mentioning different benefits of attending college or university, which shows an attempt to organise ideas logically.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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