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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that the Olympic Games can bring nations together. Others, however, think that it is a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Write an essay with no less than 250 words.

#people #olympic #games #nations #waste #money
The question of whether to deal with the
Olympic
Games
 as a positive issue or not is worthy of debate. Some people argue that the
Olympic
Games
 will consolidate nations together.
However
, in my view, hosting the Olympics on a regular basis is extravagant. Granted, the
Olympic
Games
,
also
 known as the global festival, has many optimistic effects on multifaceted enhancement.
For example
, take South Korea and North Korea as examples. In 2018, South Korea held the Winter
Olympic
Games
 in Pyeongchang. In the event, the two countries showed an intimate relationship and cooperation despite the deadlock stage of the Korean War in the political aspect.
Thus
, the Olympics can facilitate a linkage of nations.
Nonetheless
, history is replete with cases which elucidate that
an
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enormous investment in the
Olympic
 business overshadowed many other urgent issues in the authority which have to be addressed timely. Regarding that there are increasing number of people who are starving, it is time to spend the limited budget on pertinent circumstances followed by rectifying some policies related to the poor. Plus, the government which is going to host the
Olympic
Games
 must spend a lot of taxes on constructing new stadiums and arenas for the festival. Considering that all the places built to prepare for the event will be feckless after it,
this
 is the most profligate and meaningless way to use the valuable tax from the public. To recapitulate, the
Olympic
Games
 can bring countries together, but not always act
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
proper manner, so it can lead to a waste of money. Adapting to the new phases resulting from changes
such
 as an enhanced recognition of the usage of money plays a significant role in the prosperity of nations and organizations.
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task achievement
Addressing counter-arguments in a more detailed way can strengthen your essay. Consider exploring both views more substantively before presenting your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more transitions and linking words to enhance the flow between paragraphs. This will help in better cohesion.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear and outlines the essay’s main arguments effectively.
relevant specific examples
You provided a relevant and specific example regarding the 2018 Winter Olympics in South Korea, which strengthens your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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